No damsel to be found
by Torendor
Summary: Set at the end of Season 1, the Heroes are out for blood and only one person stands between them and a broken Queen. Lot's of confusion, angst, doubt, denial, blame and everything else that accompanies a relationship that is anything but the norm.
1. Paradise Lost

Set at the end of Season 1, the Heroes are out for blood and only one person stands between them and a broken Queen.

The first chapters are very .. confusing and unstable because that's the state Emma is in. Don't worry it will get a lot clearer later on. I also have to mention that there will be a lot of mistakes since I'm not a native english speaker, any feedback is appreciated because it's the only way I can learn =)

Very slow burn. Femslash. Drama/Angst/Romance (not the fluffy kind)

* * *

Emma POV:

It is such a fucking mess. Everyone went nuts when the curse broke. Well .. not at first, but it didn't take long for the hugs, tears and kisses to turn sour.. bitter.. angry.. now here we are at the mayors mansion and its a living hell for me.

She is ranting behind my back, charging volley after volley of accusations against the fair and noble heroes who in turn retaliate by listing off every single misdeed the evil queen had ever committed .. and boy those are a lot!

The scale of everything is so hard to grasp, for me at least. She had cursed an entire kingdom, kept them suffering for twenty eight years and that after she had slaughtered, tortured and oppressed them for god knows how long back when they were still in the enchanted forest.

I'm interrupted in my vain attempts to make sense of it all, as well as keeping the angry mob at bay, by another attempt of Regina to cast a spell .. a freakin spell! Can you imagine it? Magic.. what a mindfuck. Ugh .. anyway.. her earlier attempts were.. colorfull since everything she had been able to conjure up were some lame fireworks and fizzling lights. This time however something must have changed because the second her hands arch out and I feel a tug in my chest which quickly turns into a ripping sensation and I feel like I should fall to the ground or at least stumble.. but I don't .. rather I have to watch in mute horror as flames lick past my head in two wide arcs pushing back the crushing tide of bodies.

People panic quickly, realising that the queen is not as harmless as they had assumed at first. The screaming starts again, not like before, not the high and mighty declarations of Reginas misgivings but screams of horror.. of the knowledge that everything could turn back to the way it was before .. under her rule.

But before the flames can hurt anyone, and I'm pretty sure they would have very soon, Henry happens .. again. The first time was when he had started it all, this mess we are in right now, by openly declaring his love for me and his disgust of Regina just after he woke up from .. death? The fact that he came back from the dead was such a huge relief at that time, I nearly died from joy .. but only seconds later I watched in shock as this sweet boy tore into Regina with a vengeance.

He finally had his confirmation, no more doubts whether he was .. sick.. or not, now everyone saw and everyone knew about his horrible stepmother and the saviour who stopped her. That would be me ... fuck...

So said saviour stood by, lips in a tight line as the mayor of this weird fucked up little town broke into a million pieces, again and again, each time Henry threw another hurtful remark at her. It sucked every bit of life out of me, I was so glad Henry was alive, so shocked that the curse was broken and so close to slapping him for being this .. unhenrylike.. so much like her .. I guess.

That had been the first time Henry happened, the spark that ignited everything.. everyone.. and now he snuffs it out, just like that. He yells something over the roaring fire and the ringing in my head. It is something wicked, something true, something from the past I guess.. I'm not sure about anything anymore. It silences everyone, and Regina collapses against my back, strings cut, digging her fingers into my jacket as if to hang on for dear life.. maybe she is.

I feel it all, her pain, my confusion, everyone's anger, its all to much, way to fucking much...

Another tug, pulling at my insides, but it is different this time.. and hard to describe. Somehow I know it's her, there is some kind of connection and it's like having a new sense you can't make heads or tails of. I feel her and a whole brickton of curling emotions slamming into my already battered soul. Closing my eyes I try to block it all out but I fail so very utterly.. When I open them again everyone in front of me is gone and the only sound in the mansion is her mewling behind me.

Spinning around I face her with both rage and confusion. Not sure what happened, not sure what she is capable of doing anymore. **"Henry?! Where is he?"** I have to know, I need to make sure he is ok, no matter what else happened, no matter if its all his fault or not.

 **"Outside."** She croaks out and I barely register the very unregina like state she is in. She is a freaking mess, both in body and spirit.. but I'm already storming out of the foyer to find Henry, to hug him, to make sure he is safe.

As I pass the door it snaps shut behind me and a purple haze forms a seal over it. Not really caring what this is all about I step further into the light and nudge through the sea of befuddled heroes. **"Henry!"** I gasp out as I spot him next to .. them, my parents. It sucks, feeling what I feel now, truly and utterly sucks. Seeing him so happy to see me, his birthmother he hardly knows, after just having destroyed the woman who took care of him for all his life. It makes me want to retch. It's like THEY believe we should be happy now, we won, everything is ok now .. but it's not. There are no heroes and villains, there are only deeply flawed and fucked up people in this town, each and every one of us.

I stand stock still and he notices something is wrong, he is such a smart boy after all as everyone keeps pointing out. Mary Margaret and David are just behind him, or should I say Snow and James? Mom and Dad? A couple that had killed more guards, hirelings and bandits then I care to admit. A couple that send their only child away.. and all for what? To have their happy ending? Fuck happiness, fuck them! Fuck them and their sappy lovestory that destroys everything they touch. They are just like her, that wretched bundle of flesh behind me, behind those doors. At least she admits it and she has her reasons, reasons for every damn thing she has done since I came to this town.. and they almost always revolved around doing whats best for a son that hates her.. and loves me.. because of something that is written in a book... for fucks sake!

He keeps staring at me and I feel people moving closer, demanding attention or urging me to do something. Something about what? Or who? They don't understand anything. I turn away from them and their voices are fading away as I crash down onto the cold marble floor of the foyer. I lie there in the darkness for the blink of an eye, comforted by the silence of the mansion before the voiced rush back in, together with the burning light of the sun and concerned hands that try to steady me as I try to get up from the muddy gras. Gras? What? Where am I? Brown eyes turn soft and look at me with concern.. I don't know if they are his.. or hers. I let my body fall away and welcome the darkness back into me.


	2. Understanding hurts

Emma POV:

I wake up, not with a start no.. definitely to exhausted for that, it's more like tiny parts slowly clicking into place. One by one they inch towards one another until my body is capable of functioning in the real world again. I have to contain a snort thinking about that cause my real world is filled with fairies, witches and dwarfs now.. go figure.

Shambling out of bed in a glacial pace I'm not sure what to do now. It's still such a jumble in my head but at least I'm starting to think clearer.. not like earlier? Yesterday? Whatever..

Voices creep through the bedroom door, most likely David and Mary Margaret. I sooo do not want to deal with them right now, first I have to figure out what happened before I collapsed. Alright .. focus Emma.. so .. everyone was at the mayors house looking for vengeance I guess, for what she did to them in the enchanted forest and here in this world with the curse. I protected her from them because .. well I finally understand her.

Not the evil queen curse thingie, no that's still totally whack, but I can understand doing everything in your power to protect the people you love, even crossing lines you normally shouldn't cross. Which is exactly what she has been doing ever since I got here and indirectly, sometimes directly, threatened to take her baby away. All she saw was a woman with a very bad track record who waltzed into their life and confused an already unstable boy even further. To top it all off I kept making bad choices, like the fort.. she was right, it was a piece of shit shack that could've collapsed any time. What kind of mother lets their child play in something like that, sure it was fun but fun has to take the backseat sometimes.

It sounds so weird hearing that come from me, she is the serious one.. the one that made the tough decisions, that kept him straight and narrow, I'm the partygirl, the drunk, the one with a record.. but I get it now, I finally do. So I defended her, no one else did .. and it escalated, may have turned into bloodbath considering the magic Regina wielded for a second.. but it didn't. She broke, again, because of him.

So she whisked them all away with some sort of spell, leaving only me and her in the foyer of her mansion. But why didn't she teleport me out as well? Did she expect me to stay with her? No way.. Henry was outside, she must've known that I would want to get to him. Maybe she needed me for the spell.. I recall some kind of connection we had. Had? I stare down at my hands and can still recall the feel of the cold marble floor I never lay on..

 **"You can't be serious!"** I have never heard Archie shout like that before so I'm immediately back in the present, my eyes glued to the door. **"She is his mother! How can you even suggest something like that?!"** There is a pause for a heartbeat or two but as I inch closer I can make out Mary Margaret saying. **"No, she is not."**

Jackpot Emma, your mom is a cold hearted bitch mixed with a overdramatic lovesick puppy, sounds kind of shizo. I wonder what 'dad' is like, so far he did nothing, which really sucks considering he was surrounded by people who contemplate murder, really charming of him to stand back and watch.

Anger boils in me and I'm about to storm into the livingroom to give them a piece of mind but I catch myself. Why do I care so much? So much fucked up stuff happened today and over .. there.. in this other realm. She had done such horrible shit when the book is anything to go by. Im defending a .. well .. a dictator and mass murderer of sorts, why? Because I can understand part of her reasoning? Because it's the right thing to do? I broke so many rules in my past life and here in Storybrooke as well .. even as sheriff, why the sudden change of heart?

 **"She did something to her! She kept her inside and messed with her head!"** Mary Margaret yells through the door as if to answer my thoughts. **"Snow.. shh.. she might be awake."** follows the muted voice of David and my anger is back in action. She didn't mess with my head, she simply needed me for her spells, yeah that's it. That tug I felt must have been some sort of drain to fuel her magic and when I went outside the exhaustion caught up with me and I collapsed.

I can't contain a loud snort as I realise how easy it was for me to make logical leaps like that when the parts involved were about spells, weird connections and mental breakdowns.

Silence storms in from the living room, I can practically feel how everything in there just stops. **"Emma?"** comes a concerned question and without giving me the time to respond Snow White is through the door and in my bedroom. **"Emma are you alright?"** I mumble something affirmative and feel her arms around me a second later, Prince Charming follows suit only Henry is missing..

We stay like that for an uncomfortable long time, for me at least, until Snow releases her stranglehold on me and starts an interrogation. Why did I defend the evil queen, how come I stayed behind, why this why that.. I block her out, my face a hard mask. James tries to calm down his .. wife I guess now?.. but to no avail. My eyes move to Henry who simply watched us until now and I tell him we are leaving.

Snow is about to explode as she hears that but I don't care. I try to grab Henry's Hand to lead him outside but he shrinks back .. away.. from me. Behind me Snow and James argue, Archie is kneeling down next to Henry talking to him in this soothing voice of his but the boy won't listen. He fixes his eyes on me. **"She did something to you Emma, I'm sure of it!"** He says this with the same voice that had claimed fairies were real.. but now he knows he was right about that, had been all along. So he spins the story further, his fantasies made manifest, he keeps writing this damn book of his and looses all track of reality. Or am I? Can I really tell anymore?

Archie looks up at me, his voice so fucking sad and tired, the voice of reason, the conscience of us all and he tells me that it would be best if I take a walk for a bit, so everyone could calm down.

He tells me to go? Go freakin where? Do what? Eat a damn muffin and read the newspaper like nothing happened?! I'm raging, it boils in me in the most painful way but I grab my jacket and leave anyway. I'm out the front door not caring about Snows angry tirade, James whimpy platitudes, Henry's paranoia or Archies sadness. All I feel is anger and frustration. A part of me knows I should care, about everything, everyone in there.. but another part also knows that I have to protect myself or I'd break, completely .. like her .. so I run.. again.. like so often in my life.


	3. Like a game of chess

Emma's POV:

I got as far as Granny's Bed and Breakfast, which is great considering how I normally leave for good and cross county if not country lines. This time everything is different tho, I can't run from this.. not really. It's to big and I'm to involved in everything, like a fly in a web.

So I crash at Granny's, pretty much like the first day in this town. Except the last time she wasn't carving something that looks like a freaking crossbow when I rented the room. What the fuck? Is that thing supposed to be for the mayor? I'm half tempted to flat out ask her but I really don't need any more of .. anything .. else on my mind right now.

The next two hours go by in a flash, spent solely on calming down and making sense of everything. Now I'm ready to face my family and hopefully ill be able to convince Henry to stay with me at Granny's for a day or two. That way we can talk without Snow trying to manipulate him. Hopefully Archie is on the same page.. I'm not sure I can convince Henry without him.

...

Regina.. she had lurked in the back of my mind ever since I left the others. She needs protection and I'm not sure if she can still cast spells without me. Maybe all she needed was a jumpstart and now she is good to go? Somehow I don't think so.. it doesn't feel right. Alright, get up Emma and face the music. First stop Henry. I grab my jacket and head out.

The short walk over to them is sombering. Groups of people huddle together talking, some simply enjoying their reunion but a lot of them make it clear that they intent to do something about the mayor .. or in their mind the evil queen. I have to hurry.

Mary Margaret's apartment door mocks me.. I'm not sure whether I should knock or simply use my key. Everything changed so quickly, one moment good friends and roommates and now .. now I don't know what the hell we really are, all I do know is that she doesn't trust Henry with me and suspects me to be a puppet of the former Mayor Mills.

Key in hand I unlock the door cause fuck em, see if I care. They are no longer the people I knew and they made it perfectly clear that they don't stand by my side when the shit hits the fan, they are all some freakish mix of someone I knew with someone that's outlandishly different.

I obviously startle them, which is part of the reason I used the key in the first place but I'm not ready for the scene before me. Somehow I expected them to be sharpening their swords and making battle plans to storm the mayors mansion or start operation black swan and find a way to remove the spell that the evil queen had put on me. But no.. Snow looks like she had been crying non stop and Henry is not looking much better.. the hell? They both made me leave, each in their own way and now they act like I am the one who hurt them?

After the shock of my sudden entry weras of Henry eyes me skeptically for a second before smiling brightly and leaping at me like the long lost mother that I am. Looks like the rest of them are somewhat glad to have me back as well judging by their looks but I can't shake the feeling that I'm still very much under scrutiny. Henrys arms are around me and he keeps saying sorry as if it would erase the pain of rejection I felt earlier.

Snow crosses her arms as if to shield herself from something and looks like she is about to talk again but I don't let her. **"No."** I say flat out and she looks confused, as if she can't comprehend why someone wouldn't want to listen to her pearls of wisdom. Especially if its her little girl.. but I'm not her child, not really. Unlike her I can't jump into some strangers arms and act as if we have been a family for 28 years.. it simply doesn't compute.

 **"Archie can we talk?"** He glances at Snow and James as if to ask for permission before slowly coming over to Henry and me. This little gesture almost puts me on the path of anger again but I block it out. Now that I had some time to comprehend I can take on anything, I killed a freakin dragon for crying out loud! I will not loose control because of such a small gesture.

 **"Emma.."** He says in a voice that's neither here nor there. **"Everyone is a bit worried about what happened."** A bit worried .. yeah .. like a world war is a bit of a scuffle. What he means to say is that grandpa and grandma over there don't entrust their grandson into my care because I defend .. her.. because I stopped the crow from killing her. To be fair I'm somewhat sure that Snow and James would not kill the mayor, more likely put her in a cell for all eternity .. but they did not even try to defend her, as if it was out of their hands. The peasants want the evil queen dead so be it.. we won't soil our hands.

This it totally fucked up and judging by the fidgeting and half hidden glances towards the couple in question Archie is dubious about them as well. Then again that does not necessarily mean I'm a better choice in his mind.. which gives me an idea. **"Yes, we are all worried so I think it would be best if Henry stayed with you for a day or two.. until everything settles down a bit."** Snow eyes me skeptically, she probably expected I would fight for Harry with tooth and nail. **"I mean it's the best choice right? You guys don't trust me after .. earlier .. and frankly I don't feel comfortable leaving him with you guys."** I stuck out my chin and dare her to contradict me.

It's bubbling under her skin, she wants to lie.. boldly .. to my face. She wants to say that she trusts me.. but she cant.. it would be to obvious for everyone. She looks away and I cherish this small victory, maybe more then I should considering who she is .. or maybe that's why I do.

 **"Well.. umm.. I'm not really .. umm .. Henry? What do you want?"** Archie is clearly uncomfortable with this situation but I don't care, my eyes wander from him to Henry. **"Ok."** Is all he says and that's that. Of course there is a somewhat lengthy discussion afterwards since a lot of details have to be worked out but in the end Archie and Henry head out after saying their goodbyes, leaving me face to face with the gramps. I think ill stick with that term, at least in my head. A grin curls on my lips and I can tell its irking her to no end so I play nice and set my face straight. No need to antagonize them even further right? Even if it's fun...

I try my best to be polite and we talk for a bit, nothing heavy tho and my mind keeps wandering towards Regina. After another subtle attempt from Snow to steer the conversation back on her track I make up some excuse and head out.. I simply can't wait any longer. The thought of someone being in danger because I stand around and chat away the day does not feel right, I must be damaged that way cause no one else in this town seems to have this defect.


	4. Realisation

Emma POV:

As I leave her.. or is it their apartment now?.. Hrm.. nevermind.. once I'm out the door I realize that as much as I spent to much time with them, they had spent to much time with me. We all had more important places to be, me with Regina and they with the people of this town, because things have gone downhill fast. Old grievances come out again, misunderstandings and misgivings done in their cursed forms are thrown in the mix and make for a deadly cocktail.. and I'm not talking hyperbolic here.

On the short walk to my trusty yellow steed I have to break up a fight between a dwarf and Mister Gold. What seems to have started as a one sided shouting match now involves a rusty pickaxe and a switchblade, one wielded by a disgruntled mineworker the other by what appears to be Gold's Girlfriend.. or Wife.. or whatever fairytale romance thing they have going on. I'm already jogging towards them, calling for them to break it off.

Gold is trying to defuse the situation but the pent up anger is to much and the dwarf, not hearing or caring what I or anyone else says, takes a swing at the girl.

I'm still quite a few feet away and my shouts don't do much to slow down the approaching pickaxe heading straight for the girl. I go for my gun even tho I know it's to late.. maybe I can at least stop him from killing them both..fuck.. In my haste I stumble and crash onto the ground with a curse on my lips.

I hear a grunt of pain and a furious scream follow by gurgling noise, fuck fuck fuck.. Gun in hand I scramble in their direction shouting all the while for them to freeze. Making a split second decision I fire my gun into the air and she stops, the other two are on the floor bleeding. One, Gold, from the wound in his shoulder where the sharp end of the pickaxe had embedded itself and the other from stab wounds all over his body.

Our eyes lock for a second and I know that all she wanted to do was defend Gold against the furious miner, which turned messy but i have no time to debate this right now. I lower my gun and she rushes to his side without hesitation as I try to stop the dwarfs bleeding and call for backup, or an ambulance.. or pretty much anyone who is sane enough to establish any kind of order in the streets. Noone answers over the radio so I scroll through my contact list with bloody slippery fingers while mentally cross referencing the real life names with the characters from Henry's book to avoid calling over a mass murderer or something.. Fuck this shit.. it doesn't matter who comes, as long as we get these two to the hospital, if bad comes to worse I still got my gun and most of the town is thankfully not into fire weapons for some reason.

* * *

Half an hour later I'm in front of the mayors mansion, covered in blood, hair a mess of sweat, dirt and even more blood but at least everything turned out ok. Ruby was the hero of the hour and between the two of us we got everyone to the hospital and after making sure I was no longer needed I slipped out, not feeling like explaining myself why I'm going .. well .. here.

Drawing a shaky breath I open the massive door to the foyer. There is a fizzling sound as it swings open and I remember the purple haze that had formed a seal when I left earlier. Oh .. well.. I'm not sure what that means but there is not much I can do about it now is there?

 **"Charming."** I stop, startled about her sudden appearance. **"Umm.."** Is all I manage to come up with, unsure whether she referred to my messed up looks or my new surname.. a whole new can of worms I don't want to touch.

The old mayor would have smirked now, my inability to keep my posture and form sentences further proving her point, but this is not the mayor... this is Regina. It is the woman I defended, the queen that cursed and screamed at the mob trying to kill her, the sobbing mess that clung to my back, the mother who lost her child .. its a wonder she is still standing. I can't help but admire her for that, the other stuff .. is still to unreal for me to fathom, but this I get, this I understand and respect.

 **"I take it you did not change your mind and came over here to put an end to my evil reign?"** She raises an eyebrow and I can see her trademark confidence, but there are cracks.. deep cracks in her mask that only I can see, I'm sure of it. I have seen her weak and broken, I start to understand her, more with every passing minute.. like I'm a bloodhound that can't shake the scent.

 **"Pray tell me then, to what do I owe the pleasure of your .."** She looks me up and down, taking in the whole mess. **".. esteemed company."** I'm here for you is what a part of me wants to say, to be a shoulder for you. Because I feel your pain and it's tearing me apart that no one else does.. not even your son.

Instead I stand a bit taller then before, fingers looped around my belt, my badge in plain sight. **"I am here to make sure you are alright."** ... Fuck, why did I say that? Of course she is not alright! But I didn't mean it .. like that .. Fuck!

There is a slight pause before she answers, we both know why. My face betrays my inner turmoil perfectly, I'm sure of it. **"As you can see I am unharmed.. are you?"** There is no real concern in her voice, but the mere fact that she asks keeps me off balance.

 **"Yes I am, it's not my blood.."** I expect her to ask who it belongs to but she does not, there are more pressing matters for her aren't there? Like her own safety, like her magic.. like Henry? In that order? Or the other way round?

 **"Well now that you know everything here is .. alright.. you should hurry back to the royal family. Wouldn't want them to believe you care to spent any more time with me then necessary hm?"** What is that all about? An Insult or an invitation? **"You are not evil Regina."** It sounds good in my head, but now that it's out in the open the words cause a very different reaction.

Her lips twitch into a snarl and she stalks towards me. **"No?!"** She hisses out, eyes ever fixed on mine. **"Am I not?"** I start to feel uncomfortable very fast, I have never seen her this dangerous, this unstable. Her eyes take on a purple hue and something starts to shimmer between her fingers.. but fizzles out almost instantly and she growls in frustration.

Fuck, she keeps loosing everything, her kingdom, her son, her town, her magic. Instead of backing away from the boiling anger in front of me I close the gap between us and touch her arm, to comfort her, show her that I care.

It's the most amazing thing, how her face changes now. The angry snarl, the blazing eyes fixing on my hand on her arm, a lip quivering.. eager to chew me out for daring to touch me but then realisation. The eyes soften, the words die on her lips and a sexy grin appears instead. She knows now.. knows that what happened earlier was not some freak accident of magical energy.. it was me. I gave her the power to conjure the firestorm, to teleport a whole crowd away and keep her safe here for hours.

She looks at me like a piece of delicious meat and I can almost hear her thoughts whirling with the possibilities I open up for her. My knees feel like buckling again, just like before and something tugs at my soul. Spidery fingers seeking entrance somewhere in the recesses of my mind, tapping at my power, taking it by the spoon full. Her eyes are the most unreal shade of purple now and they burn into me, I could not look away if I wanted to .. which I don't... don't ask.. this is embarrassing enough for me as it is.

I feel her arm around my waist, keeping me upright in an almost romantic gesture. The swooning princess in the knights arms, except she is anything but a knight in shining armor. Dizziness starts to overtake me and she notices, the tugging stops, spidery fingers retreating from my mind. **"Sleep."** She whispers into my ear, her head almost on my shoulders by now. Her need to gather as much magical energy as possible drew our bodies ever closer.

Darkness keeps interrupting this torrent of emotions and sensations in me. It takes a while for me to realize its my eyelids dropping, blocking my view longer with each repetition. I don't want to sleep, I want to stay right here... ...


	5. Nosy

Emma POV:

I stretch a bit and my hands slide over the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. The hell?! Realisation floods into me, I'm in the mansion, what time is it? Fuck! My eyes dart around for a sec before resting on an old clock. Almost 9, am that is. Shit! I was supposed to talk with Archy before Henry went to bed and go to some sort of meeting later on. Shit shit shit, I stumble out of bed in my underwear, grabbing the outfit that is neatly stacked on a nearby char.

As I slip into the last piece, my favored red leather jacket, I think about whether or not talking is in order.. with Regina that ist. Somehow I feel like I'm sneaking out after a one night stand, which sounds totally silly and isn't remotely what happened but that's how it feels nonetheless. We should talk about it.. the magic stuff, what she intends to do with it.. and Henry there is so much to talk about him too.. Ugh no, not now, now I have to double time it to Archy and growl at their feet for being a bad mother .. again.

* * *

Turns out I'm not a bad mother, at least Archie and Henry don't think so. As soon as I start apologizing Archy interrupts me, telling me its quite alright and that Henry is proud to have such an honorable mother that works such long hours to restore peace in town.

I offer a shy, and confused, smile as he goes on. He appreciates the opportunity to take care of Henry and is honored that I trust him like that. Yeah .. not like I had much of a choice really, but he truly is a nice guy so there.

The kicker however is when he tells me how great my tip about Henrys breakfast worked out. Up until now I assumed Regina had called him up and lied through her teeth about whats going on. As it turns out she somehow sounded like me when she did. What the..? It must be easy to pull something like that off with magic, which starts me wondering what else she could do with it.

"Mom!" Is it bad that I cringe a bit when I hear him say that? I know it should feel great, elevating and whatnot.. but im Emma.. not Mom and as much as I love him and want to be there for him it simply feels wrong. If he can abandon one mother after so many years of care how easily could he drop me?

He runs over, crushes me in a bear hug and the dark thoughts simply cease to exist, at least for a little while. Archy looks at us with such an open hearted smile, the scene is almost to good to be part of my life. The life of a fuck up.. heh.. welcome back dark thoughts .. couldn't stay away for long now could you? Ugh...

* * *

I stay with them for about an hour, eating a late breakfast while catching up on what has been going on around town. According to Henry there was a big meeting during which the Charmings ensured everyone that order would be kept while they figured out why they were still here and not back in the Enchanted Forest. To help with that they have reformed the royal guard under my care. Yeah.. big surprise there, first because from what Henry tells me I was at the meeting as well, humbly accepting the duty and secondly that the charmings trusted me with this job. I mean not 24 hours ago they suspected me to be some kind of Regina puppet like Mr. Glass. Maybe this is some kind of test.. or they want to keep me close to 'cure' me? I don't know.

What I do know is that Regina can impersonate me without causing any doubt, which is a totally creepy thought. She could be anyone! And to top it of I got a whole bunch of new deputies.. or rather royal guards? I hope they don't plan to use the later name.. sounds way to silly..

I'm getting ready to leave, apprehensive about my new responsibilities, colleagues, Regina, the magic .. fuck it's still so much..

Anyway, I agree to come back later for diner and head out towards the station. Ruby is the first to greet me, beaming a wide smile. Heads perk up behind the screen separating the offices. Looks like the dwarfs are here, all minus the one in hospital. I feel the urge to ask questions but the fear of asking something the other me should know holds me back.. thanks Regina. "Sorry for being late." I blurt out instead. "Had to check up on Henry and Archie."

"No problem sister.. erm.. I mean.. boss, no problem boss." Leroy fiddles with his cap and the other dwarfs start to gather behind him, like they expect something. "So.. um .. anything to report?" Can't go wrong with that .. right? At least it puts the attention on them now. Ruby hands me a folder. "We are close to finishing the list you wanted. All the cursed names and their real counterparts." Real.. as in .. from the enchanted Forrest.. like Mr. Golds real name being Rumpelstiltskin .. heh.

"Great thanks, any trouble so far this morning?" Ruby shakes her head and readjusts her Deputy Uniform a bit. How can she make everything look sexy? Well .. not sexy like yesterdays Regina sexy .. umm .. nevermind. Shut up brain, have to focus here or they find out about the imposter me. "Alright .. well I'll start digging into this then." I walk over to my desk but Ruby clears her throat. "Umm, boss?" Why do they keep calling me boss? It's not like I'm a local Don or something. "You were supposed to meet the mayor first thing in the morning, to give her the report and discuss the problem with the city limits?"

"Oh right, my bad. I'll head over to Regina's office right away." Bad brain.. bad bad brain, it's no longer Regina's office now is it? More like .. Snows? I mean who else would take over that position?

Ruby squints her eyes at me and steps closer, damn .. my imposter skills are really lacking aren't they? "Eh.. you know what I mean, force of habit and all that. Of course its no longer her office." I chuckle a bit for good measure but Ruby won't let go and .. sniffs? .. at me. Realisation dawns on her and she is about to call me out on it but I grab her elbow and lead her out of the police station under the pretense of needed her help with something.


	6. Smells like the truth

Emma POV:

I drag the reluctant but at least compliant Deputy into an ally, unsure about what I'm gonna tell her but let's leave it to Ruby to jump to all the wrong conclusions on her own. **"Sooo.. you and the Evil Queen huh?"** I'm about to protest, vehemently, when she sniffs at me again. **"Don't even try to deny it Emma, you smell like you two have been pretty .. wrapped up.. in each other."** She waggles her eyebrows cause me further humiliation and loss of speech so she simply keeps going. **"I get it Emma, don't worry. The number of times i have fallen for the bad guy routine is not even funny but don't let a little roll in the hay cloud your judgement. What do you think Henry is going to say when he finds out your banging the Evil Queen slash stepmother?"**

At first i am frozen in humiliation, even tho her assumption is just ridiculous, but half way through her monologue im stunned by a constant hum of anger instead. How dare she? Just cause i smell like her does not mean anything happened but i can't very well tell her the truth now can i? All she would see is the danger of empowering Regina with magic.. not the good it could do, to her and maybe even to this town. The magic is the only good thing she got left and without it she would be .. well nothing, at least in her view.

But back to Ruby and how she assumes id jump into bed with anyone just like that. Ignoring the fact that she just outed me with that statement, Regina not being a guy and all, it also paints a .. well .. not a totally wrong picture .. but how was she to know!

And the last part is a punch to the gut, plain and simple. Of course i wouldn't do something like that without being extra careful about Henry. He would freak if he knew i help Regina with her magic, if we did anything more he would probably decide to stay with Snow forever. Ugh .. maybe he would already do that now if he knew where i woke up this morning... or who was really at the meeting yesterday evening.

Ruby looks at me expectantly, i'm not sure if she is waiting for me to try and wiggle my way out or if shes looking for juicy details of my supposed affair. Whatever it is she enjoys her position that's for sure.

 **"Do you trust me Ruby?"** She is taken back a bit and loots at me strangely. Taking her time she stares in my eyes for an uncomfortably long time. **"Yes.. i guess i do. Weird huh? Must be a Charming thing."** She flashes me a bright smile and tries to press me for details about Regina and me but i raise my hand to stop her. She is telling the truth, my superpower confirms it.. so i might aswell try and trust her as well. **"Alright, let's grab a coffee and i'll tell you everything."** She claps her hands rapidly, like a little girl being handed the key to a candy store. This woman really loves her gossip huh? I radio the station and we head towards Granny's.

* * *

 **"So there.. nothing going on between us."** I finish my story and take another sip from my coffee. She is grinning like a cashmere cat. **"Yeeaa.."** She drawls out. **"Your description of the magic transfer thingy wasn't sexy at all and the sappy, touchy feely stuff about her well being and what she thinks and feels doesn't make you a whipped mushball at all."** Ugh.. ok.. maybe i should have held back a bit.. but it felt good to get it all out you know? And i really need an ally, especially because of the imposter stunt Regina pulled. So far it looks good, Ruby had seemed understanding as i unfolded the story.

My mobile starts buzzing, a smiling picture of Mary Margaret on the display.. i'll have to change that soon. Anyway, i answer the phone and say yes a lot for the next few minutes before i hang up. **"I have to go now, we are good right?"** I took a big risk trusting her but hopefully it will be worth it. **"Yes, we are, my lips are sealed. We should finish this later tho, cause i have tons of questions."** You and me both Ruby, i nod at her and grab my jacket.

* * *

The mayors office. Regina's name has been removed from the door, by the looks of of it with a fire axe... talk about overkill. Aside from that everything looks pretty normal, no palace guards in full plate armor or anything.. what? I wouldn't be surprised if there would be is all im saying..

 **"Ah Emma, glad you could make it."** Snow comes out of .. her .. office and into the waiting room i've been in for a bit longer then necessary. I needed the time tho, to get my act straight and be prepared for any left hooks the imposter Emma of the past might throw at me.

 **"Yeah, sorry about that, i had to make a stop at Archies, then the station and Granny's."** She waves away my excuses and smiles at me. **"Don't worry i know how much there is left to do, believe me. James and i have been working nonstop ever since the curse broke."**

That's what i would have done too, if not for Regina's sleep spell... but at least she covered for me. Judging by the reports i saw on my desk she spent the better part of the night working. Heh.. i bet she was bored out of her mind doing paperwork.

Oh.. right.. Snow.. conversation.. not daydreaming about Regina.. fuck.. i have haven't i? At least it wasn't about that embrace again. A grin creeps on my face. **"Um.. Emma?"** Fuck, yeah ok focus, that's why i stayed here in the waiting room and what good did it do? Nada.. **"Nevermind, just one of the cases from last night."** She seems to buy it and leads me into her office where we spend the next couple hours going over every frickin thing that's going on in this town.. yay..


	7. The one who stands (Regina POV)

_OOC: This is Regina's point of view of the first chapter. If your curious about her side of the story knock yourself out but keep in mind that not knowing can be quite interesting as well, so only reading the Emma parts is a viable option._

* * *

Regina's POV Flashback:

 _These fools are really going to do it hm? Kill me for my crimes? Brag about it in the local tavern after the deed is done? Not that there is much to brag about when you kill a witch that has no real magic left. After Henry had pointed his accusing finger at me in the Hospital the people of storybrooke started to gather what they call courage, it took them quite a while too, but the outcome was inevitable. Now they are here, in my house, hurling accusations at me as they trash the interior and press ever closer to me. Only one thing stands between me and them.. only one person.. the Sheriff .. Miss Swan .. ... Emma._

 _At first only a handful of peasants had gathered at my lawn and my mere presence held them back, but more came.. and their numbers made them grow bold, hurling objects at me so they forced my hand. I tried a spell.. and failed, further fueling their courage and my anger. Why is everything falling apart? First Henry, now my magic.. it should work. I felt it's release earlier, magic is in this world now, why can't I use it?_

 _They came closer and I withdrew into the foyer and listened to the sounds of their rampage. Statues, decor, my car, anything they could get their hands on really. It all fueled the rage that was and still is building inside them, like a herd that is whipping itself into a frenzy. And that's what they are when it comes down to it, a herd of brainless peasants, not one of them interesting enough to be worth my time, and yet .. here they are about to kill me. No matter how hard Miss Swan tries she will not be able to stop them, not even with her gun.. a gun she would never use on one of them._

 _I try more spells, each one failing except for a few tricks of light but as I grab onto Emma I feel something rush into me. Magic, pure light fueled by sadness, anger and understanding. It's her, Emma, her essence, streaming into me through my fingertips and I latch on to it, grab her harder to get more. Energy uncurls inside of me and without a seconds thought fire spreads in front of us, pushing back the herd._

 _It is gloriously amazing and I almost lose myself in the exhilarating rush of power but she is with me, a part of her is inside of me now and I feel her pulling me back, stopping me from burning these insects to a crisp. Instead I keep the wall of flame up to block their approach and gather my thoughts._

 _Why is she here? Why stand between me and the will of my son.. her son. The entire town wants me dead and she risks everything for me, why? Why why why? Because she is the saviour? She is supposed to save THEM from ME not the other way round. Maybe it is some futile attempt at Charming bravery and honor, already stepping into your parents footsteps hm dear? It would be just like them to spare me at an execution in the last second only to have me rot in a dungeon for all eternity or some other .. humane.. way to get rid of me, as if that's not so much worse then outright death._

 _ **"You are just like her!"** I hear his voice, my sweet little price.. accusing me of the worst crime of all, being like her.. Cora._

 _All the power I felt only seconds earlier turns into pain, rock solid in my body and soul. I crumble into Emma's leather clad back, digging my fingers into her, desperately.. as if to crawl into her for safety from this cruel reality. She shielded me from the crowd but she cant help against this.. this is something else entirely. He thinks I'm a monster, that I can't love, can't be a real mother.. like he thinks Emma could be. He is so very very misguided by this cursed book but I don't have any energy left in me to explain him how grey the world is._

 _My hands loose their grip, my body failing me further and further as I crumble inside and out. The scene in the hospital keeps repeating in my head, how Emma revived him, the joy in his eyes as he saw her .. and the hate when he looked at me. Again and again my world breaks, and I feel leather sliding beneath my fingertips, my head dipping forwards, no muscles to hold it in place, I guess I'm dropping to the ground behind her._

 _But a part of me won't let my body be weak, it's the darkness that always coils in the back of my soul, it gives me power when nothing else does and so I put everything it gives me into grabbing on to Emma, hoping against hope that I can hold on to her. I don't want to end as a sobbing mess on the floor for the whole town to see, I won't let it happen._

 _My fingers hook onto her belt and I curl my fingers to come into contact with .. flesh! Tender flesh beneath my fingers and power, it crackles between our skin and I suck it up eagerly, channeling it through my body and will it to free me of everything that bothers me. All I want is to be left alone with my pain._

 _Silence floods through the foyer and I know I succeeded, everyone is gone.. everyone but her. Why? Why did she not vanish as well? I wanted noone to see me like this.. this broken. My fingers loose their grip on her belt and I fall to the ground, the cold marble floor beneath me._

 _ **"Henry?! Where is he?"** She spins around and her words hit me, another bullet into an already bloody mess. She thinks I killed him, after all the hope she gave me that someone believes me and wants to protect me.. now I see it is a fragile hope at best.. and it hurts. All I can do is croak out that he is outside before my world goes dark._


	8. Fries with a side of harsh truth

Emma POV:

Ok here is the short version of my delightful six hour long meeting with the new mayor of storybrook. It looks like Mr. Gold is one of the good guys now, healed from his wickedness by the pure light of true love in the form of Belle. You remember Belle right? The blond that repeatedly stabbed that dwarf because her love for Gold made her do it, ain't true love grand? Ugh..

Talking about the dwarf, him and Mr. Gold have been stabilized and neither is pressing charges. There is a whole lot more to that little drama but that's the gist of it and frankly I don't care about either of them enough to go into details.

Next up is Regina, noone has seen or heard from her since yesterday morning. Well except me that is, but I only gave a very censored version of it to Snow. The fact that no one else had seen her started a crapton of rumors, ranging from her committing suicide to gathering her power to cast another curse now that her old one is broken. Almost everyone is scared and angry, looking towards the Charmings for leadership and safety.

It's kinda hard to admit but the two of them have done a great job, both at deescalating the bloodlust against Regina and in returning some sense of normality and order to the town. People are already working again, well a few of them are but it's a start. As long as I can get my fast food from Granny..

From the looks of it yesterday was an extreme culmination of 28 years of frustration and anger, even if noone has really been aware of it while the curse lasted. The shock of truth was to much for everyone and even Snow and James were tempted to let the evil queen die. Snow even admitted it in a voice so small it almost made me feel guilty for being angry with her.. almost.. but not quite.

Now the two of them are working on a plan that would make everyone happy. You see a pattern here? Ugh.. At least they laid off about me being a puppet of Regina. Snow had said sorry so many times it made me believe Mary Margaret was back in control. As it stands Snow had simply been paranoid when I stood up for Regina when even James and her could not be objektiv enough to do it. Now that she saw the error in their ways all that's left is pride, oh so much pride in their honorable, graceful and all around perfect princess daughter.. me .. right..

All I could do is smile faintly as she crushed me in yet another hug. How the hell can one person be this unstable, one day she is like 'oh let that bitch die' and the next 'No it's wrong to kill her.' And the same with me. Now that im her Number 1 again she is eager to find a place where the four of us could in .. what .. the .. fuck? What makes her think I want to live under one roof with the two of them?

Damn..

Anyway, for now we decided that Henry and I take her apartment while she stays with James. Its going to be awkward in the apartment now that I know she is .. well .. my mother, but it's better then living in a room at Granny's especially for Henry.

And now, after all the long hours of talking, she is urging me to pick him up and bring him 'home'. Yeah right, his home is a mansion with a wrecked garden and foyer, not some apartment.. but I keep my mouth shut about that. **"Actually I think it would be a good idea to let him sleep at Archies for another night. Henry could use the downtime and Archie is delighted to have him. Plus I still have a lot to do and will stop by them later anyway, for dinner."** And then I'm finally of to Regina for some answers.. hopefully.

 **"Your dedication to your work is amazing, like mother like daughter hm?"** Her smile makes me want to puke and did she just pat herself on the shoulder there? I avert my eyes in anger but all she sees is me turning away of being applauded. Snow is so freakin deluded..

* * *

Half an hour later I'm in my new apartment together with Ruby, staring at all the stuff I want out of here as fast as possible. In between shovels of fried food I bring her up to date and answer all the silly questions she didn't get to ask earlier. And boy is she off track, after the third sex related question I interrupt her.

 **"Ruby seriously, there is no affair, no sex or whatever. I only smelled like her because of the transfer thingie that went a bit out of control.. oh and the bed, it smelled like her too.. so there."** One of her eyebrows raises up and her grin turns wolfish, oh boy.. shouldn't have said any of that huh? **"Did it now? So she let you sleep in her bed after copping a feel.. I wonder why."** Yeah me too.. **"Maybe the guestroom wasn't made or something .. and it's not like she was going to sleep that night anyway with all the Emma impersonating she had to do."** I take another bite of food and let her carry on the conversation as I chew and let my eyes wander of the horrible decoration of this room.

 **"That is so weird, I mean it's not like she wreaked havoc and tried to blame you.. or made out with half of Storybrook to slander your name. All she did was be a good Emma, show the town and the charmings that you have their best interest in heart and then spent hours doing boring paperwork. As far as evil queen schemes goes that one must be the lamest yet."**

I nod absentmindedly, sounds like Ruby still believes Regina has an ulterior motive.. and maybe she does. Even if I want to believe in her I should double check the reports she worked on, maybe there is something hidden I didn't pick up on. Then again maybe, just maybe she wanted to be nice.. like a thank you for me coming to her rescue. That would be sweet, maybe a little out of character for her .. but who knows, maybe she is a loving person that does cute things like that for the people she cares about.

 **"Hey what are you thinking about?"** Busted.. **"Your daydreaming again aren't you? For someone who keeps saying nothing happened you do act kinda like something did."** I huff and snag another fry. I guess I do.. so what, it's just a little fantasy to lighten the mood. Real life is pretty fucked up right about now, daydreaming and make believe helps coping. Gues now the question of where Henry got his .. excentric.. view of the world comes from is solved, except that I'm a grownup and can put it into perspective any time I want. Doing that with Regina would be very easy. Want me to prove it to you? Alright here goes.

Regina is straight, she has never shown any interest in woman, not even a glance.. not even at Ruby and she is .. well hard to miss. So there, no way that .. embrace .. as I like to call it in my head was anything more then her need for power, and somehow she got more of it the closer we were. So she got lost in her need for power and I got .. well .. lost in her. Cause it's been so freaking long since I was so connected to someone, and it felt so damn good.. just thinking about it makes me tear up inside. And it's not just the physical part, once you get a peak behind her mask everything clicks into place and you start to understand why she does what she does.. it all makes sense and you can't help but .. ugh..

 **"Maybe.. but it's difficult to explain."** I sigh, maybe a bit to overly dramatic.. has to be the Charming in me.


	9. Stealthy

Emma POV:

The rest of the day ticks by at a glacial pace. Boring report followed by boring report.. nothing that yielded any useful information safe for maybe Regina's dedication to being thorough, she even sneaked in the occasional typo to avoid suspicion. The dinner later on with Henry and Archie was better, mostly because neither of us brought up any of the serious topics. The boy enjoyed his time with Archie but is also looking forward to live with me on a regular basis.. something that still scares me to no end. I haven't the faintest clue about being a mother.. a cool aunt yeah.. mom? No way. ... Well I got 24 hours to get ready..

We talked a lot about whats going on around town and some of the stories were quite heartwarming. Not that it balances the scales, but better then nothing right? I'm not jaded enough to be blind to the good that love can bring.. however I'm also not naive enough to ignore all the bad. The last part seems to be horribly missing in most of the denizens from the enchanted forest and Henry for that matter.

But enough philosophical debating, I'm on my way to get some answers out of Regina. So what if I stopped at my new apartment first to slip into something slightly better looking and spent a few more minutes in front of the mirror. Gripping my steering wheel a little tighter I park the beetle next to her trashed Mercedes. They really did a number on it and the rest of the mansion. All the lights and most windows are smashed as well.

As I get out of the car I leave my jacket inside, the weather still pleasant enough despite the fact the sun has already set. Man.. someone had even chopped the heads off of her eight garden gnomes. **"A pity isn't it?"** Her voice sweeps over me and I get goosebumps. **"Yeah.. I always liked that one."** I point towards a gnome that looks like a burglar as if I'm unfazed by the fact that she just scared me shitless.

Not sure why, but whenever I had to come over here during the last year my eyes always fell on this stealthy little fellow. **"Kinship amongst thieves?"** She doesn't say it with any kind of malice so I guess she's simply referring to who I am.. someone with a past .. someone that bends the rules.. how did I become sheriff again?

 **"I guess.."** From what I can see of her face in the half darkness she is surprised that I take her words in stride, pleasantly surprised that is. **"How about we fix him?"** And just like that she reaches out with her hand, waiting for mine to grasp it. Such an innocent gesture, so unlike the evil queen or mayor. Is this how she was before.. everything? A kind innocent soul?

She mistakes my pause for distrust. **"Nevermind, I'm not sure what I was thinking."** Her hand is dropping but I take a quick step forward. I won't let her crawl back into her shell so I take her hand like I would take Henry's or .. noone elses I guess. If I had been an ordinary child I would have held hands like that when I was younger.. but I never had that kind of childhood and from the looks of it neither had she. I'm half tempted to keep looking at her but I know she would not like it, showing weakness is not easy for her. So instead I focus on the wisps of purple magic that playfully dance across the garden and the front of the house, bathing everything in a warm surreal light. **"It's beautiful.."** She whispers, so quiet I'm sure it was not meant to come out at all and as I turn again to face her I can only agree.

The energy that had flown freely from me to her had repaired everything the wisps touched but something just changed when I looked at her and they fizzle away, her concentration falters, she frowns and let's go of my hand. The bright white light of the repaired mansion is a stark contrast to the fantastic scenery only seconds ago and I blink away my confusion. She mutters something about it being my fault and bends down to pick up the gnome we wanted to fix. **"Looks like we managed to fix everything but him."**

As she hands him over to me I can't help but wonder about what just happened and the symbolism of this stony little fellow. **"Maybe he is not meant to be fixed?"** She hums, not really answering but at least acknowledging what I meant. She turns away, heading towards the front door without a word. **"Regina wait! Why did the magic fail so close before it was done?"** I blurt out, intent on getting answers and not letting her retreat into the house without them. Over her shoulder she tells me that it failed because I am greedy.. what the hell?! The door clicks shut behind her but I'm having none of that, shoulders squared and jaw set I stomp after her.

The door is locked.. seriously? **"Regina com on open the door!"** I bang my fist against the massive wooden door. **"Let me in! I want some answers damn it."** Nothing.. no response.. no sound of movement, is she even listening? Well I'm loud enough for the neighbours to hear me.. oh so maybe I should change my approach, don't really feel like explaining to anyone what I'm doing here.

Back to the car it is, I grab my trusty lockpicking set from the glove compartment and slip into my leather jacket, looking as badass as I feel right now. Determined I head back to her door. Recalling what kind of lock it is from memory I already have the correct tools for this job in my hands by the time I kneel down in front of it. **"Last Chance Regina!"** I'm not shouting like before, but unless she moved all the way to the other side of the mansion she should be able to hear it.

Alright then, guess she wants to see if I'm bluffing, as soon as I touch the lock a faint purple haze glimmers into view only to fizzle away. Just like the other day.. are those wards to keep people out? Looks like they are not working on me. Grinning I fiddle with the lock a bit before I hear the satisfying sound of the last tumbler snapping into place. I nudge the door open and quickly stash my tools, once inside I start having doubts however..

Sure I want answers but will I get any if I break into her house and confront her? She is not really the kind of woman that reacts kindly to being pushed around.. and she got fancy magic at her disposal now. ... But what if it's the only way? If I back down now I might never figure out what is going on and what she is up to .. and then there is Henry .. I can't deal with him alone, we need her.. even if he doesn't see it that way. The same way he doesn't see that im not mother material.

I sigh and look back to the door. Always fucking it up eh Swan? Just bail the hell out and get your act together.

Fuck..

* * *

Regina POV:

She is turning around.. good. I step away from my magic mirror and pour myself a well deserved glass of cider before walking over to the window to ensure she is leaving. Ah there she is, hunched over in defeat. Well it's her fault, all of it.. and here I thought she cared, wanted to protect me.. but no. All she thinks of me is being a damsel in distress she can swoop up and .. what? I saw the look on her face when the magic flowed all around us and I felt the change in the magic I could drain from her, that's why I botched the spell.

That she could .. ... I did not know that she was .. well that way. Sure, I have spent twenty eight years in this world and it seems to be a somewhat common occurrence here but it is still.. unsettling.. to think about it. Back in the enchanted forest I have only heard rumors about people like that.

I nip at the cider and watch her drive away in that hideous car of hers, pondering on how to proceed. She is the only source of magic I have, sure my reserves should last a while but then what? Go on without magic? In this town? No... they would burn me at the stake in a matter of days. I will have to play along, keep her on my side.. and go how far exactly to do that? Ugh.. Focus, power is everything, magic comes with a price, no one can stop you but yourself.

Pouring another glass of cider I breath out deeply, guess I'll have to pay the price..


	10. Craving

Emma POV:

Report after fucking report, I would be glad it's friday but as town sheriff I don't get weekends off like normal people. On the plus side I get to escape Henry every now and then. Yeah I know that sounds horrible but .. ugh.. hes just so intense. He keeps adding pages to his book, collecting artefacts and stories from everyone in storybrooke. I already had a talk with Archie about it but we came up with nothing.. except medication .. and neither of us is comfortable with that unless he drifts deeper into this obsession.

I'm eager to talk with Regina about .. everything, but it's been a week now since I saw her last and I'm still unsure how to deal with her. Oh.. well.. I've seen her once to inform her she is officially under house arrest now. I was all decked out in our new police uniform and everything, she only looked at me strangely as if she were waiting for something. I couldn't muster the courage to ask any of the questions I still have, feeling kinda awkward asking her after just putting her under arrest.. that's not really good timing. So I left.. and here I am a couple days later, bored, frustrated and wondering how she is holding up.

Ruby goes over to her every other day to bring food and supplies, Security wise we don't do much about her cause .. it's kinda pointless isn't it? She could magic her way out of anything. **"Hey Ruby, is.."** I pause, feeling silly about my inability to think before talking. **".. nevermind."**

She glances over at me from her desk .. and she knows, I can tell by her grin. She waves me over and finishes preparing Regina's supply basket as I get closer. **"Here you go, all set except for Granny's Lasagna."** It's not even like I wanted to ask her to fill in .. I only wanted to hear if Regina is alright.. but hey.. this is even better right? Jump into the cold water and get it over with? The excuse is good too .. so yeah what the hell. I mumble a thanks, grab my sheriff jacket and get out of the station before one of the guys gets the nerve to ask any questions.

It's nice to have someone who knows, even if she keeps teasing me and blows everything out of proportion. She's also a lot better at keeping secrets then I gave her credit for.. then again I could loose my job and Henry if people found out I'm working with the devil .. kinda. I'm more of the devils drug dealer aint I? That sounds weird..

Granny's diner is packed and the old lady is in a mood. I'm half expecting her to bite my head off for bringing food to the enemy but instead she smiles at me. **"Good, good, finally someone taking over for my Ruby. I was this close to bother Snow about it."** She hands me a portion of her favored lasagna, flavored with chilli flakes, and I look at it skeptically. **"You.. didn't do anything to it.. did you granny?"** She looks lat me like I just slapped her face. **"Of course not! I would never stoop to her level.. even if she'd deserve it."** Right.. and trying to kill her in her house or trashing her stuff is so much better.

 **"I'll have a portion of fries to go as well."** I decide on a whim, maybe this way Regina and I can have a simple conversation for once. Who doesn't like to chat while eating junk food?

* * *

Regina POV:

Hmm someone just parked in front of the house, most likely Ruby again. This is the fourth time now and if she is getting any friendlier I'll have to do something drastic to put her back in her place.

Ever since the curse broke she has been acting.. unexpectedly. Not the Red I knew or the Ruby from the diner.. more like a nosey reporter that already got half of his story and is now eager to finish. During each of her brief visits she was .. well .. not disrespectful, that's not true, but she was not scared like is supposed to. The last time she was this close to calling me Regina, I could see it in her eyes.

Well, no more! This is my house and my life, and I do with it as I please. The days of old are gone.. or so I thought. First mother then lecherous leopold and now .. her.. Ms. Swan.. Emma. I growl as I compare the later two. Both appear innocent enough to anyone else but I know their dark secrets. The more I think about it the more similarities with Leopold come to mind. The sometimes childlike behaviour, the blatant naivety at times and the twisted depravities a blink of an eye later. Hrm.. well so far Emma hasn't really done anything, but I could feel her thoughts.. to some degree at least and it felt similar. Ugh.. I don't even want to think about that.. and where is Miss Lucas? Didn't she park like 5 minutes ago?

There is a faint knock on the door, I can barely hear it, followed by some soft muttering and a much louder knock shortly afterwards. Intrigued I sneak closer to the door, this is not Ruby of that I am certain. Flames are itching to appear at my fingertips, ready to strike at any enemy, but it have to conserve what magic I have left.

 **"Regina?"** Emma? I mean .. what is Miss Swan doing here? A thoroughly other itch starts crawling all over my body now. It has been days without any new magic and it had left me .. craving. There is nothing sweeter, more dangerous or exiting then the raw power of magic and right behind this door is a tasty morsel ready to be plucked.

 **"REGINA?! It's me Emma! I brought your lasagna."** She all but yells at the door, not knowing I'm right behind it cringing at her crude behaviour. Tasty morsel hm? The magic may be intoxicating but the package it is in? Unacceptable, utterly and undisputably unacceptable.

I open the door before she tries to lockpick it again. **"Hello Miss Swan, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"** She simply holds up her basked as a way of explanation and moves as if to go inside. I start to object but she interrupts me and fiddles with the basket . **"Look Regina.. I know you don't want to and I have tried really hard to hold me back but .. we have to let's eat and get this over with ok?"** It's true on both accounts, after we repaired the damaged property I expected her to continue in her trespassing on private property and confront me. When she didn't I was surprised.. and relieved. I spent the next days preparing for a new arrangement, like I had with Leopold but with extra .. problems attached .. or rather missing. But again.. she didn't press it.

 **"Alright then."** I yield and make way, leading her into the dining room. She appears weary, as if she didn't expect I would give in this easily. Good, it's always better to keep one opponent off balance.

 **"Oh com on Regina, this is fast food not some roasted pig with truffle sauce or whatever. We can eat it on the couch like normal people."** Talking about off balance.. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean to do it but she managed to do so anyway. My face must show because she is smirking at me in a way that is very inappropriate. It makes me want to throttle her.

 **"When in rome.."** I say, trying not to sound as upset at her as I am. From the blank look I gather that she didn't get the obvious nor the hidden meaning of my words. Oh by the gods why am I always stuck with dumb sheep who hold power over me.. and I can't even kill this sheep like I did the last one. I could overpower her tho.. it's not like she can deny me her magic.. or can she? Is it worth trying? So far she hasn't .. tried anything. Oblivious to my murderous thoughts she settles on my two thousand dollar leather couch and starts to pull out our food. With a sigh I head to the kitchen.


	11. Dealing with the devil

Emma's POV:

She is acting weird. Granted I just all but barged into her home but .. I don't know. Something is up. Maybe she is just as nervous as I am? Heh, somehow I can't imagine her waiting in front of a door for five minutes to gather up the courage to knock. She is to tough for that..

Then what? Maybe it has something to do with Henry, she hasn't seen him for days now.. that must be rough for any mother, no matter how bad ass she is. Or the magic connection thingy is causing her trouble? Maybe my comparison to an addict earlier is not that far fetched after all. It would explain why she let me in without a fight and her posture right now.

She just got back from the kitchen to hand me cutlery and napkins, now she has her arms wrapped around herself in a way that screams defensiveness. I'm sure she is not even aware of it, the old Regina would never show any kind of vulnerability. Oh.. her fingers are twitching .. I know that sign.. shit.. looks like the bill might fit. How bad is magic withdrawal compared to the other shit?

 **"You ..umm.. might want to sit down, makes the whole eating thing easier you know?"** Yeah way to go Emma, try to break the tension with jokes and smiles.. as if those ever worked on the mayor. At least it got her out of the stupor.

 **"I'm not hungry."** She folds her arms in front of her now, in a way that's supposed to be demanding, sure of herself, but I'm not buying it. It's more like she has a problem with showing her shaking hands .. or maybe she doesn't like it when other people watch her eat or something.. which is an endearing thought.

 **"Well.. you wanted to talk, so talk."** Her words nail me to the couch, instantly stopping any daydreaming that may have been going on. Ok, right, talking.. about what first? Henry, the town, magic, evil plans, sexy embrace, the repair spell? I go with an graceful **"Ummm.."** follow by **"Henry says hi."** which is a lie of course. He doesn't even know I'm here.

 **"No, he does not."** The way she says it is cold, accusing, with a hidden warning. I repeat her words and sigh. **"No, he does not. Sorry.. I just... it must be hard to be cut off so abruptly.. on top of everything else."** Her eyes pierce mine, boring into my soul. She is close to throwing me out.. or worse. I don't know why I keep presuming we can talk like friends when we clearly aren't.

 **"Sorry.."** I sound like a broken record by now huh? Thats me, fucking up, saying sorry, not changing a damn thing. **"Ok how about we do it like this, you get your magic and I get answers each time?"**

Her eyes soften a bit. Business, she is used to making deals, both in this world and the last I presume. She unwraps her arms as she gets closer, her footsteps unacompanied by the usually ever present clicking of heels. Long manicured fingers unfurl in my direction, expecting a handshake. Flabbergasted I wipe my hand on a napkin, mumbling something. That's when I catch her eyes again. She enjoys moments like this, almost as much as she hates being on the receiving end.

Pah, she will have to try harder then this. So she caught me off guard for a second, big deal. I hold her amused gaze and shake her hand.. well I do but it is so much more then a simple gesture of greeting or the completion of a deal. That I'm looking right at her makes it infinitely more complex.

The instant our hands touch the connection is back, like being hit by a truck it smacks me to bits.. but I don't care. Her eyes light up, all sings of our petty battle of will gone, replaced by a hunger I have never seen before. She swallows me hole, my magic, ego, pride, thought, everything drains away. The handshake is forgotten, her thumb drawing figures on the back of my hand as the rest of her body slowly crawls onto the couch, purple hazed eyes drinking up everything emotion that I mush show clearly. Surprise, confusion, surrender, hope, lust.

I'm falling, everything is swimming, my jacket is gone and I feel the leather of the couch behind me, hands trailing up and down my now unrestrained arms before pinning them above my head. 'Oh god yes!' My mind screams, excited beyond imagination by this small act of dominance.

The air is static and hot, my breath coming in short gasps, now interrupted by a moan I have held back way to long. It breaks the spell.. literally. She blinks, and jumps back from the couch as she realizes what she has done, vanishing in a puff of purple smoke. What .. the .. fuck?!

 **"REGINA!"**

* * *

Regina's POV:

What is wrong with me ?! ... How could I ... all I wanted to do is shake her hand not .. grope and pin her to the couch! It.. it must be this gods forsaken connection! Yes! Whenever I touch her she gets all... weird.. and since we are connected and I want the magic I act on it, my body doing whatever it takes to squeeze more magic out of her .. which results in her .. moaning .. oh by the gods..

I keep on pacing in my bedroom upstairs, door locked up tight as Emma is yelling my name down below. There is no way I'm going to face her, if she doesn't leave soon I will teleport her to Neverland if need be. I would certainly have the power to do so now.. it was amazing, sooo much power..

Looking down at my crackling hands I recall the surge of magic I felt rushing into me when I had her beneath me.. it was beyond words, beyond anything I have ever felt in my already long live. I shiver and try to block out the images, focus Regina. Power is everything, magic comes with a price, no one can stop you but yourself.

A cough escapes my lips as one of my pillars of foundation mocks me, no one can stop you but yourself.. right.. I'm loosing control off everything, even my own body.

 **"Regina open up! You can't do this!"** She is upset, angry and near crying judging by her voice but I don't care, can't care, it's to much. I quickly cast a silence spell on the room and continue pacing.


	12. Silly Girl

Regina's POV:

I have been pacing for .. I don't know how long and she keeps falling apart in front of my door. Not long after my silence spell I started to watch her through one of my mirrors, trying to distract myself from getting nowhere solving my own problems. She has been angry, pleading and then openly crying. So much raw emotion, shown .. well not openly .. but still showing it to the world in a sense, I could never do that.

Why or for whom she keeps doing this I don't know, is she angry I .. well .. kind of overpowered her? Upset that it didn't go further? Mad that she got none of the promised answers? All of the above? I do not know and I can't bare to listen to her.

And even watching her starts to get to much, I get the urge to open the door, to take her in my arms and calm her down, like I would little Henry when he had a bad dream. Make it all go away with such a simple gesture. But she wouldn't understand, would take it as me giving in.. to accept .. her .. or whatever that connection does to us. She doesn't understand that it is not me doing all these things.

 **"Sleep."** I whisper against the mirror before me and she slumps against the door only a few seconds later, her lips forming some crude curse without making a sound. Now she is drooling on her arm and my carpet, lying in an awkward potion only a few steps away. What a silly woman, acting out like that.. but who am I to judge really? I am as shaken up as she is, albeit for very different reasons. The big difference is I am keeping it all in, even here in the solace of my magically sealed room.

Silly girl, that's more what she is, not a woman but a tumbling, fumbling, failing girl. One who can't control herself.. like me earlier.. but that was her fault too. Quietly inching towards the door, undoing the spells with a wave, I carefully press down on the handle. There is a sudden shift and her head and arm lolls into my room. She mumbles something before settling back into a steady snore.. silly girl...

I watch her for a moment, she looks so harmless.. peacefull. Raising my arms before me Emma drifts up into the air, magical wisps trailing behind her. I can feel her weight, the texture of her uniform and her tiny movements as if she were in my own arms. It feels.. nice.. warm.. safe.

What now silly girl? What was your glorious plan? Bang on my door until the station sends someone over to check on you? Quite the sight for them to see. All tussled up hair, jacket missing, makeup a mess of tears and stains.

Incorporeal fingers shift a strain of hair out of her eyes. Thinking something through is not really one of your strong suits hm? Well good thing you got me then isn't .. it? Alright let's rephrase that Regina shall we? ...

I let her float over to the bed and settle her down. With a wave of my hand another Emma is taking my place, one who is not looking like a total mess though. I grab a pen and start writing a note, that done with I lock the bedroom door behind me, seal it with a spell and head downstairs.

Like the scene of a crime. That's my first thought as I enter the living room.. and maybe it is, I don't know anymore. Was it me, or at least some dark hidden.. different part of me that I have no control over? Or is it truly the connection and her emotions compel my body somehow? It certainly feels like that, like someone else is taking the reigns.. and by the gods does she take them.. Emma is absolutely smitten with her. Great.. now I'm talking in third person about .. what.. me? A part of me? Ugh.. I should get going and cover for the silly girl.

* * *

Emma's POV:

I wake up in her bed .. again.. it certainly feels and smells like hers. Her name leaves my mouth, loud , accusing and raw, before I even have the time to open my eyes. No answer, no sound at all except for the ticking of an antique clock in the corner. She is not here, of course she isn't, that chicken shit! How can she be so tough one second so scared and evasive the next? My eyes come to rest on a letter, all proper and neat, with my name in firm yet elegant letters on it.

At least something, maybe not the confrontation I want after .. what almost turned into a kinky makeout session, but hopefully some answers. Oh or excuses.. yeah right.. talking about Regina here, no way in hell is she going to say sorry for that or anything else. I rip the letter open without much care, way to upset and angry for that.

 ** _First off I want to make it clear that whatever happened was not me. I would never do something like that. My working theory is that this connection not only transfers magical energy but also emotions, which in turn affect me, making me do.. that. It is against my will and I hold you responsible for any consequences. Now all this information should suffice as payment as per our agreement._**

 ** _Secondly you are to stay in this room until I am ready to switch places again. In your carelessness suspicions have been raised and I am going to fix this. You are not to touch anything, some of the artifacts in this room would not only be a danger to you but this whole town as well._**

What.. the.. fuck?! My fault?! Seriously? And like hell am I going to stay in here..


	13. The danger of the L word

Regina POV:

Fooling Ruby turns out to be a harder task then I anticipated. Seems Emma had shared a little to much with little red riding hood and now I'm stuck in a minefield of who knows what. As soon as I park the station wagon she rushes out of the office to interrogate me.

 **"What took you so long? Oh wait.. don't tell me! You two.. you know? Oh Emma you dog!"** She keeps rattling on even though I held up my hand to interrupt her after the first question. On a sidenote I catch myself smirking about the fact that a werewolf just called someone else a dog. My mood sombers somewhat once my brain registers what Miss Luca is insinuating. **"Nothing like that happened, she is not.. like that."**

 **"Yeah I know, it's just so much fun to tease you!"** She shoulder bumps me in a way that's much to friendly for my taste, but I guess they have become pretty close lately. Wait..what? If Ruby knows I'm straight.. and Emma thinks I am, why is she making me do this stuff? Either she is doing it on purpose to spite me, which does not fit into everything else she did.. OR she is lying to Ruby to protect my image? Well there is another possibility but I'm starting to get uncomfortable with this thought and Ruby looks like I'm supposed to say something.

 **"We.. um.. just talked and I lost track of time, anything happened while I was gone?"** She shakes her head and keeps talking as we get into the station. The rest of Emma's shift is filled with paperwork and now an annoying patrol around town during which Ruby, Emma's ever present sidekick, keeps questioning me about very inappropriate topics. Thankfully my brashness in denying any answers doesn't raise any further suspicions. Looks like Emma doesn't like to share little details like _'Are you more of a top or a bottom?'_ either. Funnily enough I'm pretty sure I could answer that question.. which is not helping my growing headache any.

 **"Could you please stop it Ruby?"** I grip the steering wheel tighter and start contemplating magical solutions for getting out of this interrogation. **"Sorry, I just want to be here for you ok? I mean it's not like you can talk to anyone else about this right? And I don't know much about all this, so asking is the way to go right?"**

Thats right, Emma has to keep hiding who she is, what she feels, for how long now? And what about Henry, how does he fit into it all? Maybe this is something new, after Henry's father? **"Yeah, thanks Ruby.. sorry about the snapping."** I pause for a bit, maybe I could use this unique situation to my advantage. **"There is something I would like to talk about."** She smiles brightly at me, eager for a chance to proof her friendship, it's sickening in a way but maybe that's simply because I have noone like her.

 **"Have you ever been with someone who makes you feel... well like a different person. Someone so abstract you don't even understand yourself anymore?"** It's hard to say out loud, even if she doesn't know who I really am, even if its just the two of us in the car.

Of course she makes it worse by crunching up her face and making aww noises. **"You got it so bad for her you know that right? If I had a guy talking about me that way we would be half way to the bed right now.. or any other surface for that matter."** She adds with a wink, raising my embarrassment even further. I quickly gather my wits, eager to set the record straight. **"No that's not what I mean, more like loosing control, even if it has dire consequences and you know it's wrong."**

 **"Like Mary Margaret and David?"** She quips in, trying to tip the conversation back in her favor. Maybe this whole idea was a mistake, she will always blame it on Emma's infatuation with me. That's when she almost makes me crash into another car by declaring that love makes you do crazy things. _'Love?!'_ I reel back onto our line and she is laughing, wholeheartedly. This woman has issues! We almost died and she is laughing!

 **"That was priceless Emma, next time I'll try that in a less dangerous environment alright?"** Grinning she pats my arm and leans back into her seat.

 **"Love?"** I wheeze out, not able to stop myself from voicing the question. Surely she can't be in love with me. She barely knows me! We fight all the time, she cut my beloved apple tree, tried to steal away Henry.. there is so much...

I park the station wagon on the side of the road, not feeling confident enough to keep driving. **"Just calling it as I see it. There has always been chemistry between you two. I saw it even before I knew you were gay, that only made all the small things more obvious."** Obvious? Chemistry? What is this woman talking about, I do not and have never felt any chemistry with her. On my own that is .. the connection thing does not count. I had the urge to strangle the blond airhead yes .. but not .. something else. Something like earlier..

 **"Are you ok Emma? Oh please don't tell me you just realized it now? That you are in love with Regina. You have been acting like a lovesick puppy ever since the curse broke."** I can't hear this, I start up the car again and head towards the station. Thankfully Ruby stays quiet for the ride over, but she keeps smirking at me every now and then.

Everything keeps breaking, I don't know if I can keep going like this. It's all changing so fast after almost thirty years of soothing calmness.. until she came and broke everything. Worst of all I can't conjure up the power to hate her anymore... it was so easy to do before I knew all this. She is no Leopold, not all all, she cares for me, wants to help even if I don't .. care for her in the same way. Which I don't.

If it weren't for this accursed connection everything could work out. We could talk, maybe even become friends after I explain her I'm not returning her feelings. Maybe it could work still? Her emotions could stop controlling me during the connection once she knows that I am not interested? I'll have to make it perfectly clear to her.

Hmm.. no that won't work, from what Ruby said Emma knows I'm straight.. that should make it clear enough... ugh! Why can't she be normal? **"Hey .. are we ok?"** Ruby interrupts my train of thoughts and I reassure her that everything is fine. Im such a good liar, mother would be proud..


	14. Being yourself

Regina's POV:

We arrive at the station and I'm about to get out of the car when Ruby stops me. **"Umm.. there is something I should tell you before we get back in."** She is uneasy, a look I have often seen her when she was dealing with me in person and not in an Emma illusion like now. **"You have to be more careful about the whole gay thing, people are starting to notice.."** Curses! Can't the silly girl even hide this properly?! Damn her. **"...and you know how this town is, well everyone but me. Not that their real selves are back it's not any better. The enchanted forest isn't the most liberal of places you know? Granny once told me a story where they stoned a guy because he was involved with one of the kings guards."**

 **"So a mob formed and killed him only a matter of minutes before the knight in question came riding in, cutting down the people who killed his lover. This made everything worse tho, a lot. I guess Granny tried to tell me that I should not stray from the path to much, lest I suffer a similar fate. She never liked the way I wanted to dress, neither here nor there."**

I remember this story, it was on everyone's lips at that time. Each trying to trump the other in voicing their disdain for people like that to ensure no one questions their preferences. Nodding slowly at Ruby I get out of the car and head in, aware of all the eyes following me as I pass.. or am I imagining it? Does Emma feel like this every day? Like being under scrutiny, dreading to be found out any second with all the horrible consequences it entails?

Not that my life is any better at the moment. I finish up at the station and make my way over to the Charmings, eagerly dreading to see Henry again. I have visited him twice in the last week, each time in another disguise but this time would be different, I'm Emma now, the mother he choose.. his real mother. He would look at "me" with love, hug me, make me feel like I belonged.. and it would all be a lie. I also have to deal with Snow who is keeping an eye on him while Emma is working, taking turns with Ruby and Archie from what I understand.

I ring the bell at Davids Apartment, trying to make this Emma look as casual as possible. Henry opens and smiles up at me, making my stomach churn. **"Hey mom, come in ill get my stuff.. or do you want us to eat here?"** Hells no!

I smile my best fake smile and shake my head. **"Sorry Kid, it's been a long day."** It's a risk calling Henry that, I don't know if she started to call him something else but he doesn't flinch, so I guess Emma is still not very comfortable in her new role. Good.. is it?

 **"Emma.. hows everything out there?"** Snow looks at me and I can feel my bile rise. **"Boring Patrol, just another quiet day."** Trying to sound as carefree as can be. Not like Ruby almost made me crash or that I spent the remainder of the shift unsure what people thought about Emma. Snow nods and keeps bustling around the room, preparing everything for diner with her prince Charming. I stuff my hands in Emma's pants and lean back in a way I have often seen her, my eyes wander about biding their time until Henry is ready to go home. Home as in Emma's apartment.. not the home he lived in all his life. How can he do this to me? How can any of them? My fingers are itching to weave a spell , I have so much magic at my disposal I could do almost anything, but it would either be devastating or it wouldn't be real and I have lived in a dream long enough.

A small hand squeezes mine, looks like Henry is ready to go. We are saying our goodbyes and leave. It feels odd holding his hand in this form, like nothing happened, like he didn't hurt me in the worst possible way. Should I even try to get him back? Even if I can show him that I'm not the evil monster from his book, then what? Live a normal life? In this world, with these people? I don't even think I can forgive him for what he did. It may sound hard, him being this young, he should have some leeway but I don't deal well with broken trust.. just ask Snow, she was about the same age wasn't she?

 **"Mom.. are you alright?"** His hand squeezes mine to get my attention. **"Yeah, just.. stuff."** I say evasively, not sure what else to say. Lying to Henry is hard. **"Is it about.. the rumors?"** No! No no no! He can't know, should not, not now, not ever! We stop, he notices me tensing up and is facing me now. **"What rumors?"**

 **"Snow would not tell me.. she just said if I heard anything I should ignore it."** Stupid Snow, she may be a grandmother in theory but she knows next to nothing about proper parenting. Hells Emma may have learned more about it in the last week. All Snow did was upsetting him and now I have to fix it. Why am I always the one fixing things other people break?

I sigh, part in annoyance part in relief. **"Listen Henry, people always talk, especially about someone who is in charge. My job is to keep order and there are always gonna be people who bicker about me."** He looks up at me, understanding in his eyes.. so I stretch my luck a bit, it is the perfect opportunity. Seems like its a day full of those. **"Like Regina.. people always judged her even when she had the town best interest in heart.. or yours."**

His walls get up in an instant, as if watching myself through a mirror. Did I make him like this? **"No, she always thinks about herself, that's why she cursed everyone and that's why I want to stay with you. You are like her opposite, always caring about everyone else, even her!"** Gods this hurts, I feel my throat clenching up and panic rising. Somehow I squeeze out a thanks and start walking again as if that's a proper response .. but I got nothing else.

We manage to get home and I start to prepare diner, reminding myself of Emma's horrendous eating habits. Henry is slouched on the couch writing something which gives me the time to calm down. It had hurt so much hearing those words from him, maybe I should simply give up. Now that the truth is out about me, coming out of everyone's mouth, there is no putting it back.

He will always see me as the villain.. because I am.. no matter what way you look at it. I had to make a lot of tough decisions in my time and so far noone has even tried to rationalize them, not even Emma.. she simply ignores my past I guess. Ugh.. I don't want to think about her now.

Finishing up we eat diner on the couch, watching TV. I feel more uncomfortable by the minute, not only because of the situation and our talk, but also because of the consistent strain to keep the illusion spell active. It's not like im lacking the power, it's more about my fleeting focus. So I excuse myself saying I'm tired, heading to bed early and lock myself into Emma's room. Good thing Henry is old enough to take it from here on his own.

The illusion spells fizzles away the second the door clicks shut and I feel like falling down onto the bed and turn in early for good. It's not my bed however, it's hers and if I don't free her from my room soon she might start doing something stupid.. if she hasn't already.

So I try and calm down, which is easier said then done, even with decades of practice. The clattering in the background does not help. Henry is getting ready for bed, as if nothing has changed. Cold anger gives me the edge I need to face whats coming.

I pull out a small mirror and stare into it for a moment. A purple haze flimmers over it's surface to reveal Emma. She is not in my bedroom, but she didn't get far. Judging by the surroundings she is in my study, reading something, looking a lot calmer then I anticipated.


	15. This is you

Emma's POV:

How much longer is she going to take? It must've been at least what? Three hours? My shift should have been over an hour or so ago, I guess she also picked up Henry from Snow.. that must be weird for her. Ugh no Emma! Enough is enough, she screws up, you are supposed to be mad at her. Yeah that first burst of anger didn't last long. Once I broke out I was this close to going out there and finding her, but that would've only made it worse and I'm sick and tired of screwing everything up. So here I am, being the better person, reading dusty old tomes. I really have to get her some novels.. after I'm done beating some sense into her. Ugh.. that woman!

What the?! Without warning I'm no longer in her study but in my room, staring at an exhausted looking Regina. I'm about to start yelling at her, my earlier anger back in full swing, but she raises a finger in warning. **"Henry is not sleeping yet."** She whispers.

That bitch is using him to stop me from making a scene! **"Put a silence spell on this room right now."** I hiss between my teeth. She rubs her temples but agrees shortly afterwards, explaining that we can hear him, but he won't be able to hear us.

 **"Good, now you listen to me. I am trying really fucking hard to do the right thing here. I tried being patient, I didn't mind when you kept taking my magic to do god knows what, I let you run around in my body, didn't pressure after the garden gnome thing and what do I get in return? A fucking letter that lays all the blame on me and makes me feel like a hooker!"**

 **"Well you know what? It is not my fault, nothing of this is! All I did was protect you and try to give you what you need. Nothing more, nothing less. Never demanding anything from you except maybe some simple answers because I'm confused as shit!"**

The words keep tumbling out of me and she just sits there, eyes downcast, taking it all. My voice is harsh, raw, frustrated. **"Look at me damn it!"** And she does.. fuck. Who needs a magical connection when you can simply look at her once all the masks are down. Everything is out in the open and I know it hurts her to hear this, but it has to be said. She has to understand what she is going through, even if I only know one part of it. **"It's not my fault ok?"** My voice softens as I say this and I keep looking at her to make sure she gets it. **".. and I can proof it."**

* * *

Regina's POV:

No! Don't do that! I want to scream at her, but she is already kneeling down before the bed so her face is right before mine. She is so beautiful, like an angel looming before me. I can feel the raging storm of emotions in her, between us. Being close to her is so different from everything else, it's intense, painfully so at time but moments like these.. when I see the only person who seems to care for me .. it's ..

 **"What do you feel Regina?"** My gaze drops from her eyes to her lips as they form this silly question. There are no words for what I'm feeling, I can barely think straight, let alone untangle this mess of confusion.

 **"Do you want to touch me?"** The lips question and I almost laugh at the absurdity of it.. but then it clicks into place, I'm caught. This is it. I look back at her, blinking away tears.. and her eyes sparkle. Of course I want to touch her, that was my first reaction and it's not absurd to question that. It would be the sane thing to do.. but I do not. So where does that leave me? I'm attracted to her, to Emma, a woman, this ... silly, airhead of a sheriff. Henry's Mother, the saviour, my saviour. The only thing that remains is whether I want to touch her to get magic.. or just to feel her.

My hand reaches out, trembling. Her eyes hold mine, she is so sure about everything, there is no doubt as she takes my hand and places it on her cheek. I breath in sharply and she.. smiles. There is a spark, then a torrent slamming into me.. but it's not magic. This seals my fate, I am doomed, liberated, free and trapped at once. She leans into my hand and closes her eyes, enjoying the moment. Taking comfort in knowing that at least one thing is clear now.

 **"Night mom!"** Henry's voice breaks through the bedroom door, we are back in the real world, this accursed place of nonexistence. The moment is broken and I tense up, same as Emma, before his feet patter away from the door and I dare to breath again. I look over at her, guilt written all over my face and she giggles. **"You look like a teenager who almost got caught by her parents."** And I probably do.. a tiny smile creeps on my lips, despite the guilt, the panic and everything else. My hand is trying to remove itself from Emma but she catches it again, holding it in her own.

 **"Regina."** Her voice is calm, soothing, how can she be so calm? **"You understand now .. right? Noone made you do this, not really."** Her eyes twinkling, implying something but I'm still somewhat sluggish in my response. All I do is nod, like a halfwit dwarf. **"So.. now you know. It's all up to you, do whatever you want, be whoever you want, just don't run from it."** She squeezes my hand and I start to feel magic again, as if her resolve is starting to drop and with it her restraint. She is hiding her feelings from me. Hiding who she is, what she wants.. instead she is the friend I need. She doesn't want to confuse me, or pressure me, she denies herself everything while she tells me what's best for me. **"Silly girl.."** I mumble and lean forward.

Her eyes widen in surprise but the second our lips touch she is mine and everything else is gone. The kiss is utterly soft, so full of caring and understanding it makes me weep. This.. I have been missing this, all my life. How could I have denied myself this? Because of pride? Because of what people thought or said? I couldn't even see it, hidden beneath all the layers of conventions and sharp words from mother. Under piles of pain and torture, whispered declarations of love followed by years of sadness and oppression. I always thought I knew who I was, what I wanted, but I was a puppet of my own making. Strung up to play it's part, to hate, to get revenge. It was all pointless, my whole life was a sham, all the pain I have caused, all the suffering .. but no more. Here I am now, the real me, in her arms, feeling save, feeling a real connection with another person for the first time in my life and it was all worth it.


	16. Cover Hog

Emma's POV:

The sound of cartoons wakes me up and I try to get my bearings. Yesterday has been exhausting but totally worth it.. oh no i didn't mean that, we only made out, nothing .. more .. uh .. strenuous. Looking next to me I can't help but smile. Even in her sleep she looks like royalty, so very unlike me from what I have been told.

Looking down at myself I notice a couple of things. First off I got barely a quarter of the blanket, which is .. you know.. not alot. Then there is the fact that I must've wiggled out of my uniform sometime tonight, or at least parts of it. Now I'm in a wifebeater, shorts and half of my gear strewn about.

I glance over at Regina's Profile again, soft stead breathing can be heard but she is not fooling me. One of the first tricks I learned in foster care was to fake sleeping... so whats up with that? Is she freaking out, biding time to think? Should I leave? Fuck..

* * *

Regina's POV:

The TV turned on about ten minutes ago but I've been already up quite a while before that. Well up is not right, I have been awake.. thinking, for hours now. Ok keep breathing calm and steady, or she might notice. Yes.. SHE.. the woman YOU kissed last night after .. what exactly? Coming out? That sounds overly dramatic... all I did was accept that I am attracted to her right? And... acted on it.. because I know she would not mind.. and I really really wanted to. Oh gods... it was so beyond anything I would have imagined. And, could do it again, I'm sure of it.. right now and have her say my name again in that sexy voice as I... Ugh Regina, focus!

What's going to happen now? What do I want to happen? That's what I have to find an answer for before I get up, because if I don't it will be very very awkward. So what do I want? Her, yes.. I want her. Her body, her friendship, her smiles, her acceptance.. everything. Wait.. everything? That would mean a relationship.. as in dates, handholding, telling people .. huh, no.. no that is not going to work and I am not ready for any of that. I don't even know that much about her, well I know who she is as a person but all of the details are missing. So where does this leave us? Somewhere between strangers, friends and lovers. Great, that's about as blurry as can be. Ill just have to do what I feel is right and see if she is ok with it.. and set up some ground rules.

Hm.. she is shifting around, planing to leave? Sneak out? That would be very hypocritical of her after all the talk about me not running from her anymore. Time to take the reigns again, enough mulling things over while pretending to be asleep. **"Going somewhere Miss Swan?"** I say with my best Mayor Mills voice, a devious grin forming on my lips and I can taste the panic erupting in her. Whatever is going to happen from now on I will never stop toying with her, it's just to much fun.

* * *

Emma's POV:

I freeze, my arm halfway in my shirt in an attempt to get dressed. **"Umm.. I .. no .. I was just.."** Mumbles out of my mouth. Shit, talking about mixed messages, what the fuck was that just now? Miss Swan? I don't have time to think it through because she is turning to face me now and her teasing eyes and curled lips tell me everything I need to know. A relieved breath escapes my lips and I smile back at her.

 **"I'd be tempted to throw my pillow at you, if someone hadn't kidnapped it along with most of my blanket."** I sit up and start to button up my shirt before thinking better of it, if she wants to play I have a whole new game for her. One in which i have way more experience then her.

 **"Well I am very possessive when it comes to sleeping arrangements."** Her dark eyes underline this statement in the most direct way possible and I have to avert my eyes. This woman.. seriously! Not even gay for a day and already flustering me like it's the most natural thing in the world. Then again this is Regina we are talking about here, somehow it would be weird if she acted all shy about it now that she knows.. herself I guess.

I clear my throat after my first attempt at a reply came out as some weird assortment of mewling sounds. **"They are all yours, I'm heading for the shower.. are you going to be ok here? I mean what about Henry? It's unlikely he will leave the TV.. but still."** She smiles and lets her hand wander along her body, turning everything she hovers over invisible.

Fuck, how can she make everything sexy.. and a little creepy. I mean changing form to whomever, teleporting, turning invisible? What would a lovers quarrel with her turn into? Being ported halfway around the world without a wallet? Not .. that we are lovers, or pretty much anything at this point.. but hey whatever, no pressure. I get up from bed, careful not to bump into any invisible legs.

 **"Ok, right.. that's going to work."** I say to a now empty room and shimmy out of my shirt and the rest of my pants that have been stuck to my ankle the whole night. A little to late I realize that I'm putting on quite the show, shaking my ass and everything in an attempt to free myself. Turning all shades of crimson I make a dash for the bathrobe hanging at the door. Her husky chuckle follows me and sends shivers down my spine. Semi cold shower! Now!

* * *

Regina's POV:

I can hear her talking to Henry before clicking the bathroom door shut and the sounds of showering fill the apartment. Relieved about finally getting up and out of bed I sigh and take a good look around Emma's bedroom. It's quite the mess.. but it's fitting I guess. I bustle about, picking up pieces of her uniform, making the bed and the like as I plan the rest of the day. It's soothing to clean up like this, reminds me of a simpler past, where all I had to worry about was whether or not Henry remembered to wear his gloves in Kindergarten. Well one of the only private things I had to worry about. Work has always been demanding and exciting, maybe not as much as ruling an entire kingdom but it was nice enough.

As I place Emma's badge on top of her neatly folded and magically cleaned uniform I realize how much I miss it, the work that is. Not even two weeks now.. but I want to back and even more so I want my kingdom back. I start to hum softly as I keep cleaning up her room, plans forming all the while and I can't stop another smile from taking over my face. It's amazing how one little revelation can open the path to so many smiles in such a short amount of time. I really have to make it up to Emma somehow.


	17. Plans, Prudes and Prejudice

Emma's POV:

Fuck! That's way to cold. I almost slip as I back away from the torrent of freezing water. Ok, definitely awake now. Turning the hot water up I start going through the motions as I let my mind wander. I'll have to go to the station later for a checkup and probably a patrol afterwards, depending on how many of my trusty deputies decide to show up for work today. The dwarves keep slacking and rather spend their time working on reopening their mine or drinking themselves into a stupor.

It's only been a bit less then two week's now but I doubt they will sober up anytime soon. A report to Snow is in order after one last attempt to talk sense into em. That should wait till monday though, weekends are supposed to be calm at the station and I don't feel like rocking the boat even further. They got pickaxes you know? Mr. Gold can attest to that.

I make a grab for the conditioner and start to wonder about something. **"Regina?"** I whisper, barely audible over the water. It's a silly notion I know, she would not do something like this.. it's to crude. More of a horny teenage boy thing to do.. well or me.. kinda. I mean noone would know right? I'd be invisible.. and where is the harm in a little peak? .. bah.. yeah.. it's not ok of course, but a girl can dream right? Teenage Emma would totally have sneaked back into the girls locker room if she could turn invis. None of the girls would change with me present after a certain .. um .. slip of the tongue. Nothing like outing yourself by mistake to make your school years even more miserable.

But I'm rambling and have to make sure she is not hiding in a corner somewhere smirking her ass off. So I let the shower head spray an arc of water across the room, dampening my underwear, the towels and pretty much everything else in here. There is no shriek of surprise or a Predator like imagine in the sizzle of waterdrops. Guess she really isn't here... unless the spell makes her like a ghost or something..

I'll have to read up on magic or she will always have the upper hand and at least once in a while I want to be able to surprise her .. or maybe even impress her. Another glance around the room and I'm back to showering.

* * *

Regina's POV:

The roughest spots are cleaned up, if I spend any more time on it Henry will get suspicious. Now what? To get my plan working I would have to call the authorities in Augusta, make sure they know about Storybrooke and me as it's mayor. Once that is cleared up I can confront Snow, the US Government at my back. Let the silly townsfolk try to take over my town, I will simply call the national guard. Reality is a bitch, time for my former subjects to realize.

But back on track, the call will have to wait till monday. Of course I could reach someone in charge even on a saturday but not without a lot of hassle and a few raised eyebrows. I could spend the day with Emma and Henry.. that sounds nice.. but how? Or rather as who? there are only a handful of people that are eligible and using the guise of Archie or Snaw makes my skin crawl, which leaves Ruby.. yes that's better. Her body is more in line with mine, maybe even a bit more.. exciting. If only she would dress properly.. and talk less.

* * *

Emma's POV:

 **"Mom?! Want me to get the door?"** Ugh who is coming over on a saturday morning? I'm midway drying off so I shout an affirmation through the bathroom door. **"Hey Henry!"** Ruby's voice makes me pause, what is she doing here? Police Business? Maybe.. I finish up and slip into my robe. Poking the head, and only my head, through the door I greet her with an embarrassed smile. **"Hi, give me a minute, ill be right with you.. or is it urgent?"**

She shakes her head and flops on the couch, watching cartoons with Henry. Relieved about the now clear path to the bedroom I clutch my robe and make a dash for it. Once inside I look around, there is no Regina to be seen .. duh! .. but she sure did a number on the room. **"Regina!"** I whispershout in no particular direction. **"Come on, no games now. Ruby is here!"** Damn it! I rush around the room looking for an outfit before picking up the neatly folded uniform. What the?! I sniff at it and the smell of freshly done laundry greets my nose. **"Going a little overboard on the magic use aren't you?"**

Still no answer. Maybe this a clean and run? After the earlier teasing I wouldn't have thought she'd chicken out again. **"Last chance Regina."** I all but hiss. **"If you are still in here in 5 seconds you are a creepy perv!"** I slowly count to ten just to make sure before I start to get dressed in my uniform, this time with a more .. umm.. sensual choice in underwear. You know .. just in case we go past first base next time...

Shut up.. I know it's highly unlikely she will jump from a kiss to .. something like that but it makes me feel more confident around her so that's that.

Anyway, I zip up my fly, straighten my shirt and move into the living room just in time to hear Henry nonchalantly, albeit somewhat quietly, ask Ruby if she knew any gay people in Storybrooke. Like a sherrifninja I drop behind the couch, praying to god they didn't hear me. Between the blaring Batman comic series and Ruby's panicked wheeze I should be good to go though. Sorry Ruby, but every woman for herself when it comes to stuff like this.

* * *

Regina's POV:

Oh gods.. why? Why does he keep bringing topics like this up when I'm talking to him as someone else. **"Umm.. I.. uh.. why are you asking?"** I glance towards the bedroom, mentally begging Emma to get out and rescue me. **"Because of the rumors.."** Hells bells.. so he knows what they are and lied to Emma, or rather me impersonating her, about it. Just my luck...

 **"What rumors?"** It's worth a shot, playing dumb seems to work for a lot of people but not here it seems. Henry is looking at me with an expression I'm all to familiar with, having practiced it in the mirror for quite some time. No matter how much he wants to deny it, he is my son, this 'are you serious' look is proof of it.

 **"You know what I am talking about, please tell me before mom is done. I can't talk to her about.. that."** I frown. Would he rather talk behind her back? Hmm.. well it is rather embarrassing to talk with your parents about sex and related topics. Another plead from him and I cave in. One last glaves towards the bedroom before I lean close to him. **"Alright, yes I know someone who is gay, why?"** Henry fidgets a bit, unsure how to proceed but the time pressure gets to him. **"Are they.. normal? Umm.. I mean .. beside the .. uh.."**

Damn it..Emma! Get in here! **"Yes they are, just like you and me."** I try to manage the best broad Ruby smile but he doesn't seem satisfied with the answer, instead he appears confused so I follow up. **"Why? did someone say something different?"** He nods and I feel like someone just gutted me. **"Grandpa got very upset the other day and started yelling.. so I overheard..."** The implications hang in the air and I can't breath. I'm going to kill the bastard!


	18. Red Lips

Emma's POV:

Rumors? What Rumors? I'm still very much huddled behind the couch trying to understand whats going on. Well from the sound of it there are rumors about me being gay and prince charming lost it. Because he is upset people badmouth me? Or because he has problem with me being gay? As if that is any business of his. Hrmpf... let's not jump the gun about this, maybe Ruby can get to the bottom of this.

 **"What did he.."** Ruby sounds.. different and really angry. She is taking this pretty hard, couldn't even finish the sentence, poor Rubes. **"What did he say exactly Henry?"** Her voice sounds calmer now but there is still a dangerous vibe to it, like straight from the godfather.

Henry is silent after that and I feel like standing up and hugging him, telling him everything is gonna be ok. I wish Regina were here, she is the mother that's needed right now. The one who always does whats right, no matter how people might perceive it. No matter how everyone might hate her afterwards, even Henry himself.

 **"Did he say that it's not normal?"** No response I can hear but he probably nodded from what Ruby says next. **"Then it depends on how he said it. Which makes a lot of difference. Was he upset that she may be like that or that people gossiped about it? If you look at it objectively he is right. It is not normal, I mean most people are straight, but just because it is not the norm does not make it bad or sick. Do you understand?"** Another pause during which I am utterly amazed at the mature way she is handling this, even if I wouldn't have phrased it quite like that. It is normal and natural, I read this article about penguins that.. hey, wait a second! This is Regina isn't it?!

* * *

Regina's POV:

He nods and I'm glad he can't see what's boiling inside of me right now. For him I swallowed all of my fury but this is only temporary, to get through this conversation, to make sure he understands there is nothing wrong with being different, whatever kind of different. **"You should really talk with your mom though. I can stick around if you want?"** He beams a smile at me and nods. **"Yes that would great, you are the best Ruby!"** He leaps into my arms and I'm this close to crying. If he would only accept me like this..

 **"Hey, I thought I'm the best."** Emma says as if on cue, mock pain in her voice. **"And whats with all the hugging?"** I blink away the treacherous first and last bits of a tear before turning my head towards her. **"Well I am the best friend you'll ever have, that's for sure."** Maybe not the best choice of words considering she is bound to find out I'm not Ruby sooner or later, but we will cross that bridge when we get there.

I pat the other side of the couch to invite her over, she doesn't even blink and flops down a second later. **"Umm.. there is something Henry and I talked about."** She looks wearily between the two of us, as if she already what is going to happen and was uncomfortable about it. Before I keep talking I make sure to catch her gaze and flash my eyes with a purple haze only she can see. To my surprise she simply nods. **"So.. umm..there have been rumors about gay people in Storybrooke and Henry overheard someone saying that it's not normal."**

 **"Well, that was a stupid thing to say. Just because there aren't a lot of gay people in Storybrooke doesn't mean its not normal. This is a fucked up little country town, in Chicago or Boston barely anyone would blink an eye."** A reminder to use less vulgar language is on the tip of my tongue but Henry is faster. Definitely my son, I smirk and Emma smiles back at us both, the tension is broken.

We spend the next hour comfortably on the couch talking about all the problem gays have to face and Henry gets very into it. He is a sucker for defending the innocent, being a Charming tends to do that.. for bad or worse. Emma is careful not to out herself however, and Henry tiptoes around the topic also. But at least everything else turned out alright. Henry is ok with the subject and already claimed he will defend their honor at every given opportunity, which is easier said then done, especially once he is back in school. But its a nice gesture non the less and I cant stop smiling at both of them. Now if only I didn't need this illusion spell...

* * *

Emma's POV:

Regina's smile cracks a little, I wonder what caused it? This morning turned out great so far! Its fantastic to talk so openly with Henry, he can be such a great kid when he doesn't abandon women who took care of him for all his life. Oh and Regina did great too, she is such a wonderful person when the walls are down. Back before the curse broke I only ever saw the professionell Mayor Mills, this is such a welcome shock.. like kissing her. I grin as I imagine what an Emma from the past would say if I told her about this morning. Yeah that would be a laugh.

I wish we could have a lazy saturday like this again but without Regina hiding inside this Ruby double. It's still nice but exchanging hidden glances and subtle touches with someone who looks like Ruby will make the next contact with the real deal veeery awkward. Not that Regina and I have overdone it with whole touchy feely thing, not with Henry around. I may have exaggerated a bit, but there was definitely flirtation going on in the background.

Damn I almost forgot I'm supposed to be all fire and anger right now because of that dick move Charming pulled. Its a wonder Regina has been able to keep calm about it, I bet she was this close to teleport him into an active volcano or something. Oh the silly thing love makes us do eh?

 **"Hey, what are you smirking about?"** Regina asks smoothly and scoops closer, Henry is in his room to google something. **"I was wondering how many different ways of hurting him you have come up with in the last hours."** There is a gleam in her eyes that so Regina it doesn't matter what body she is in. Its sexy, confident and makes me reach out to cup her cheek. She is a lot better at self control tho and grabs my wrist halfway. Little does she know that his kind of gesture only spurs me on. **"Emma.."** Her tone is parental, condescending and instantly kills my mood better then any physical action could.

 **"You are really good at this you know?"** She raises an eyebrow as if she didn't know what I'm talking about. I mumble a nevermind and get up from the couch, work is waiting after all. **"I should get going, you are staying here with Henry right?"** She nods and gets up aswell but instead off seeing me off at the door she pokes her chin towards the bedroom and stares straight at me.

Huh? Did she.. what?! Sensing my inner struggle she grabs my hand and pulls me along, locking the door shut behind us. Ruby's lips are on mine and I'm about to protest that she should drop the spell when I feel my back being pushed against the wall. Screw it.. doesn't matter, neither does the fact that when I tried to touch her not two minutes ago she stopped me. Nope doesn't matter at all, especially not when her eyes turn purple with lust and magic, her hands trailing over my rips...


	19. Be Red

Regina's POV::

I can't get enough, she is humming with magic and every touch, every kiss and moan channels it into me. It's pure bliss, but I have to control myself, have to control this. To get through the day I need a little magical pick me up, but that is not worth Henry finding out. So I slow down, much to her dismay. **"Sorry dear.."** I give her one last kiss before pulling away and she is practically whining as our lips part. Silly girl.. my, my silly girl.

* * *

Emma's POV:

I was wrong, she is still the evil queen... of teasing. The makeout session in the bedroom was such sweet torture and she simply stopped! Yeah it was the right thing to do .. but.. god! How can she walk away from something this intense and joke around with Henry only seconds later. I had to spend a couple minutes to calm down and even now, on my way to the station, I get bombarded with images of her. Well of Ruby rather.. but it's Regina.. fuck, this woman makes me loose my mind!

Parking the car I get inside, thankful for the quiet that greets me. Not a single dwarf to be seen, perfect. My chair creaks as I lean back and put up my boots. I'll get over the reports later, now its time to dig into the bearclaw I bought on the way over. Nothing like a good sugary treat to calm the nerves. Licking my lips I stare at it, swearing to myself that I'll hit the gym later. **"Should I leave the two of you alone?"**

Flustered I look up from my table and can't help but trail up her very long, very taunt and very scantly clothed legs. I press my eyes shut, repeating over and over in my head that his is not Regina, that I have to get my act together. **"Hey.. are you ok Emma?"** A concerned hand touches my shoulder and I feel like flinching away, but that would be silly. Get a grip Emma, com on, it's only Ruby.

 **"Yeah sorry, just..uh.. weird morning."** Weird doesn't really fit the bill, but the last couple seconds have certainly been like that. **"Weird huh?"** She sits down on my desk and looks down at me. **"Looks more like you two had another fight or something. Oh.. it's not about our little talk yesterday is it? You didn't confess to her already did you? Spill spill spill!"**

Right, yesterday evening .. when I spent hours in Regina's study while she did god knows what .. woah.. wait a sec, confession? What kind of confession? Fuck, she makes it sound like I'm in love with Regina and planed to tell. Which means Regina assumes I am because she was talking with Ruby at the time. Shit.. is this why she stopped running away from me?

Groaning I let my head slump onto the desk, why is my live this fucked up? All I wanted to do is eat my bearclaw and relax, maybe try to figure out some of the stuff that has been going on. But nope... instead I get more and more problems on my plate. **"Aww poor Sheriff, is the evil mayor playing hard to get again?"** Ruby teases and starts to pick out tiny pieces of my bearclaw every now and then, adding insult to injury.

I'm tempted to come clean to her, again, well without the whole making out with a lookalike of hers that is... The last time I spilled worked out a lot better then I thought, maybe this time it would again? I could really use someone else's input on all of this and it's not like there are any other candidates in this town. So what should I tell her? That Regina and I finally confronted this thing going on between us? Well we did .. and kinda didn't. It's just.. there now, without an explanation and certainly not with any kind of label attached. At least Regina is accepting herself now and no longer blames the whole attraction on me or the connection.

What else.. I could tell Ruby about the Rumors and how we dealt with Henry but that wouldn't help me at all. The thing that got me twisted the most at the moment is the one thing I can't tell Ruby.. so yeah, kinda pointless to talk with her about the rest. I'd like to non the less, but the more I think about it the more it feels .. wrong somehow. It's something between Regina and me, I shouldn't go around talking about it before we had a chance to clear it up with her.

Yeah.. guess I'll have to suffer in silence for a while. Best to dig into work and ignore those long legs draped across one another only an inch before my scrunched up face and the fact that Henry might find out that Regina is babysitting him instead of Ruby .. oh or that my father is a fucked up bigot that I will have to deal with sooner or later.. not to mention all the vague stuff concerning Regina.. yeah no problem, life is dandy. Another groan escapes my lips as I press my eyes close.

* * *

Regina's POV:

I have been trying my best to sit still and relax with Henry, but it feels so.. wrong somehow. That I have to keep lying, he would be utterly shocked, ashamed and furious with me.. and Emma for playing along. But what is there to do except keep lying and once he trusts me again, or at least accept me, we will bury this lie.

 **"Thanks again Ruby."** His words shock me out of my stupor and I have no clue what he is talking about so I opt for a pleasant smile. **"I don't think we would have talked like that if it weren't for you."** Ah yes, of course.. its great that he accepted everything so openly but I can tell that something is still bothering him, but its best not to push him. The last couple of days have been difficult enough.

We have been watching TV for a couple hours now and I'm getting seriously tired of it, all the pointless chatter and predictable plots. So I get up and start whirling around the apartment to keep me busy. It doesn't take long for him to notice that I'm not acting Ruby like enough. **"Whats with all the cleaning? You are like Regina when she is nervous."**

He laughs innocently, but I realize that this was a very bad idea. Of course I knew some of the habits of Red Riding Hood and her modern self Ruby Lucas, but what would she eat for example? Order something, grab fast food from Granny, cook herself? And the rest of Emma's shift? What would she do to pass the time. Does she fiddle with her mobile, draw new outfits in one of her sketchbooks.. I know next to nothing of her now that I think about it...

Curses...


	20. Home bittersweet Home

Emma's POV:

Thankfully there is enough work to keep us busy after the awkward meeting earlier. There are still quite a lot of grievances and old feuds being played out in town, but nothing as bad as the incident with Mr. Gold. Speaking of the devil, it looks like he really turned a leaf after Belle showed up. He attended the first council meeting earlier this week and pretty much opened his bank account to help with repairing everything that had been damaged during the post curse riots. Of course spending money does not proof anything but.. he looked so different.. open somehow.. happy maybe. As far as gut feelings go he is no longer the enemy, and my instincts have served me well in the past.. well kinda.

 **"Hey Ruby, what do you think about your fellow Deputies?"** I file away the last report and look over to her desk. She still hasnt changed into uniform, then again she didn't really have to show up today, it was her day off. **"Aside from the fact they all have reverted back to their former dwarven selves? Alright I guess, at least personally, work related they are a disaster. I know they used to be part of the royal guard under Snow and Charming, but back then there were so many other guards to help out it didn't really matter."**

She brings up an interesting point, there doesn't seem to be a pattern which persona took over after the curse was broken. Ruby here seems like the old real world self, nothing much has changed except her knowledge of the past. The dwarfs, Snow, Charming and a lot of the others seem to repress their Storybrooke selves.. which sucks. Oh.. yeah.. back on topic.

 **"Umm I'll have a meeting with Snow about that. If they don't follow orders and stick to the rules I don't want them here."** She nods and walks over to me. We have been in the station for quite a few hours already, with only a short fast food break. Eager to get out for a bit and check up on Regina and Henry I stand up aswell. **"Mind if I come along? An hour or so on your couch sounds like just the right thing to do."** She stretches lazily, which is.. you know.. um..

Focus Emma! First off Ruby is your friend and therefor off limits, she simply wants to hang out, secondly Regina is still there looking like her! **"Ummm..."** Wow.. yeah that's gonna help. Ruby walks over and links arms with me, practically leading me over to the car. Com on think! **"I.. ummm.. haven't cleaned up.. so.. lets do this some other time ok?"** All I get is a pff and the wave of a hand, gues that didn't work either. Truth be told it was a lame attempt to begin with, I've been to Ruby's Room once or twice and from what I learned there she doesn't mind if it's a bit messy.. or a lot.

The doors of the car click shut and Ruby looks at me expectantly. **"Right.. off we go."** I start up the car after being caught staring into space, trying to come up with an excuse. Then again.. whats the worst that could happen? We get there, I ask Ruby to wait in the car and then Regina gets out and the real Ruby in .. damn.. Henry. The real Ruby doesn't know what fake Ruby did and said the last couple hours. This won't work at all..

What.. the .. fuck? This is like straight out of a spanish soap opera. Frustrated I pull over after only a couple of yards and kill the engine. **"I'm sorry Ruby.. you can't come over."** She quirks an eyebrow and studies my face for a bit. **"Ok, call me later tho?"** I nod dumbfounded , she didn't even ask why. Her smile is warm, almost maternal and before she slips out of the car I snatch her arm. **"Thanks Ruby..."** My voice is more serious then it ought to be.. then again I begin to understand now what an awesome friend and person she is. Always being there for me, listening, helping, joking or simply working her ass off when she doesn't have to. I never had such a good friend.

She pats my hand and I let go off her arm. Only a small wave and she is gone. I glance in the rearview mirror and see her walking slowly back to the station. Suddenly feeling like a jackass I sigh and start up the engine again. Not much to do about this Ruby for now and the other one is waiting...

* * *

Regina's POV:

The door bell rings and I am relieved to hear Henry scream that it is Emma.. well he didn't say Emma per se.. but lets not dwell on details. The last half an hour or so I have kept busy in the kitchen. Not the best choice I know, but Henry did not object once I asked him if he would rather do the dishes himself.

I put away the plate I've been holding and drop the towel on the dishrag. As I turn around my heart aches, but not in a good way. Emma just got inside, still in her uniform but the top buttons open in a gesture of alleviation. She looks at Henry, her smile weary but warm. Something is on her mind, but I can tell that she is glad do be Home. ... Is it though? Her Home? She only recently moved in so its not the place that matters. Henry then? Or.. me? No we are not.. like that. We are about contact, comfort.. kind of and maybe some degree of friendship.. maybe.

But her look says different. Henry runs towards her in a way that makes him appear younger then he is, like back in the good old days. Emma laughs, a sickenly warm laugh that sticks a knife in my gut. Arms wide open she kneels down to envelop the trampling little monster. They collide with an umpf and burst into even more laughter as she tries her best not to topple over. That's when she looks up at me, her face a beautiful mix of joy and fatigue. Our eyes lock for a second and I can feel her, this is what she wants, what she is looking forward to.. and I look away. It's to much and all a big lie anyway. This, all of this could never be and it hurts to even see this fake illusion..


	21. Say Yes

Emma's POV:

God whats wrong with me? I'm close to tears.. again! First because of Ruby and now this. It creeps up on me, little by little at first until there is only raw feelings left. So much of it I have buried long ago, but today it keeps bursting out. As if I still had a shot at normal life. A happy ever after may be to much to ask, but normality would be more then enough. Coming home to my family, being a part of something real. No more running, no more hiding.

Her eyes stare back at me, but only for a fraction before she looks away. Henry demands my attention and I talk with him as I peel out of the jacket and my shoes. He explains everything he googled today and it sounds like he even came up with a plan for a pro gay campaign to raise awareness in Storybrooke. I can't help but feel pride as I hear this. Maybe we should try and bring up his mom again soon, not telling him shes gay, god no! But after today and all his openness maybe he will have an easier time accepting her.

Heh.. I said we, as in Regina and me.. talking to Henry about her as if she weren't present, which to him she isn't. Anyway... I get up from the floor and walk towards the open kitchen only to find it empty. **"Ruby?"** No response and Henry, ever the curious mind, looks quizzically around and is about to barge into the bedroom. I stop him, somehow I know something is wrong. **"Give me a min ok? I have to talk with her about something."** He pouts, his mystery unsolved, but agrees.. reluctantly.

I slowly open the door, unsure about what kind of scene waits inside. A crying Reina? A furious one? It's hard to predict her, she is such a complex individual. **"Are you alright?"** My whisper echoes softly in the strangely dark room after I close the door behind me. **"Yes."** The room answers and I stop. My eyes roam around the room once more, but I can't make out which shadowy form might be her. **"I'll be right out."** Comes another response, the voice flat.

 **"Umm.. we wont be able to talk there .. how .. how about you stay over? Then we could, you know.. talk when hes asleep."** I don't know why I just asked this, maybe I have been entranced by the feeling earlier when I came home. Hope however can be such a fickle bitch, I should know better...

* * *

Regina's POV:

I came in here to get away from the lies and pain. The day was exhausting and seeing her all lovey dovey with Henry spurred anger, be it warranted or not.. it's there. Darkness starts to creep into the room, the sun slowly setting. With a sharp gesture I banish the last vestiges of light, leaving me in a safe cocoon of black ink. This is where I belong, alone, where nothing exists but me, nothing that can hurt or betray me.

Her whisper pierces my senses and I feel like lashing out at her, why cant she understand what I'm feeling? Do I have to spell everything out for her? Well compared to me Emma is pretty young, she knows so little and yet .. in some way is stronger then me. To leave herself so vulnerable, the voice shaking as she asks me to stay.. I could never do something like that.

 **"Yes."** It's out before I can stop it, I feel her grin radiating in the darkness, see how she will misunderstand and yet .. there it is, spilled from treacherous lips.

The truth is I am no longer in control of myself, not like I used to. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking otherwise, like when I came in here, but that's just another lie for the pile. My need for her overwrites it all, it cuts through everything. Makes me smiles, allows me to fool her into promises of more, but all I want is her. No chain of relationship, no promises that always get broken. Nothing but her body, her magic and her desire for me, each fueling my soul in its own way. **"Yes I will stay."** I reaffirm and feel almost no guilt.. almost.

* * *

Emma's POV:

Yay! She said yes! I let her relax in the bedroom and turn back into the livingroom to tell Henry about 'Ruby' staying over. He pounces on me the second I close the door and I motion for him to quiet down. **"Ruby is lying down for a bit but we have to work some more later so.. uh.. shes staying over, for the night I mean."** Way to go Emma, couldn't have phrased it any more awkwardly if you tried. Especially after practically coming out no ten hours or so ago.. not in so many words yeah.. but hes a smart kid.

His eyes bright up at the prospect of his new best buddy staying, but then you can practically see the gears turning and his eyes turn big.. and I mean huge, mouth hanging comically open before turning bead red. Yep, smart boy alright, time to backpaddle. **"No! No, no... Ruby isn't, we aren't.. no, just no.. ok?"** He blinks rapidly and studies my face. What if he got my special power too? What if his lie detector is bouncing up and down right now.. shit. Oh .. hehe.. well its not a lie is it? I said Ruby.. got to love grey areas.

He keeps studying my face for a it before shrugging it off and going to his room without another word. Clever tactic that, now I don't know whether or not he knows, which could lead to mistakes that show him the truth. He is definitely her son, every day reminds me of this fact. We have to fix this mess and make him forgive her. We .. I start to love this word.

We.. still messed up though, its uncommon for Regina to make a mistake like that. She should have seen this coming a mile off, guess her day was very exhausting. Shit yeah..the spell, she must be spent! My eyes wander towards the closed bedroom door and I'm tempted to sneak in and cuddle up to her, she would like that wouldn't she? I mean thats what id love her to do when I had a rough day. Oh .. what if she doesn't? So far we havnt been.. well snugly.. more steamy, needy.. ...

Bah.. yeah.. she wouldn't want that... yet.


	22. No choice

Emma's POV:

Of course we didn't talk.. much, but that's alright. I kinda saw it coming and the alternative to talking it too tantalizingly sweet to pass up anyway. Her touch is sooo.. **"Miss Swan! Please focus."** I mumble a weak response in Regina's direction and keep walking towards Snows office with her.

Yeah, the weeny bit we did talk was about this, her grand plan to get the city back and somehow I was able to temper her approach significantly. Her first tactic was to pretty much barge in and threaten her way back into power. If Snow were to refuse she would call the capitol. It's amazing how much leverage Regina could get when certain people were reminded they had somehow forgotten to relay the taxes for a whole town for almost three decades. At least she is sure that it would work out this way.

She had made another call this morning, to ensure her name was in the records. Sadly I wasn't nearby. I would've loved to hear her talk shop with the higher ups, shes so sexy in her politician mode... but I'm drifting off again. She made the call this morning and yesterday she was all holed up in her mansion to prepare. Meanwhile I was under the constant scrutiny of a certain boy detective who thinks Ruby and I are having an affair. All in all the weekend didn't go according to plan, let's hope this takeover thing does.

At the moment we are patiently sitting in the waiting room in front of the mayors office. The assistant keeps sending us nervous glances, he also made a couple of not so discreet phone calls after announcing our presence to Snow over the intercom. I would love to see her face right now, probably all hyperventilating and acting more like the Mary Margaret I knew instead of the regal Snow White of stories.

The smile I had since we boldly marched in here turns into a smirk and as I look over to my partner in crime I see it is reflected on her lips. A little more subtle maybe, but its there, another secret thing we share. My gaze flickers from her lips to her eyes, expecting to see mirth or .. something.. but not the cold eyes that remind me to keep my act together. **"Right.. sorry..."** I mumble, only loud enough for her to hear, feeling like a schoolkid after a proper scolding instead of a 28 year old town sheriff.

The intercom buzzes and the garbled airport like voice spurs the assistant into action. **"The mayor will see you now."** He says as he gets up and opens the office door for us... which is somewhat odd. Every time I had visited Regina here I was simply told to enter and whoever was at the desk kept fiddling with their mobile phone. Then again I'm a mere sheriff and she is a powerful evil sorceress who used to rule an entire kingdom I guess that makes a tiny bit of difference in the way people treat you.

 **"Regina.. this is .. unexpected."** Snow stands in the middle of the room, her arms crossed and her eyes question me what the hell is going on. Her outfit is fitting for a little country town, but compared to Regina's 1980s Power Suit she looks like someone from the bullpen. **"Yes.. it is.."** Regina replies and stalks around her old office, this is my cue..

 **"Um.. I got a call from Augustas Police Department asking me if everything is in order. The guy on the phone had heard rumors about trouble in city hall and wanted to make sure."** There was no call like that of course, Regina didn't want to risk anyone poking their nose here unless need be. All she did was making sure that her name stood next to the town in the register. The plans for getting leverage were just that, plans, only to be put in motion when things get hairy. **"I didn't want to stir something up so I denied it and made sure to convince him that Regina is still mayor and nothing big is going on. So i picked her up and got here to work this out. "**

The woman in question stopped her slow stroll around the office. **"I know it is a .. tough situation but I think it is in everyone's best interest if I resume my role as mayor. Even after Miss Swans assurances there is bound to be an investigation and now that the curse is broken they can and will find Storybrooke."** Snow clenches her jaw and looks between the two of us, as if to gauge whether or not we are working together.

The stunned silence that follows is broken by an abrupt knock at the door. The handle turns and Ruby enters, all decked out in her Deputy uniform. **"Oh.. hey.. everyone."** She greets us sheepishly before before standing next to me, unsure about why she is even here when the sheriff is already present. I guess the weasel at the desk outside called it in.

Snow clears her throat and in a demonstration of defiance stands in front of the mayors desk as if to protect it. **"We will manage on our own, if someone new comes to town i'll be informed immediately and we can act accordingly, up until then nothing will change."**

Regina is about to protest but Ruby is quicker. **"This is about the call from Augusta right? I know you don't trust her .. after everything that happened, but this is her job and we are in the real world now. We cant simply take over a town and declare our own kingdom."** Bah I'm about to get weepy again, she is helping us .. against her oldest friend. I don't deserve someone like her. Regina is surprised as well even though I doubt anyone but me could notice it.

 **"According to this world she is the mayor and we will have to deal with that, along with hiding who we really are. One wrong word about magic, faeries or dwarfs and we end up in a lab somewhere.. or a mental institute."** The words sink in. She is right.. shit, we got a town full of gossipers who have to keep quiet about this or we are fucked.

Regina steps towards Snow, her voice serious and businesslike as she speaks. **"We will have to announce a town meeting and explain everyone whats at stake. This is our town, our little piece of home and we have to work together if we want to keep it."** This is another part of my work to calm the plan down a notch, even though Regina was angry about it, she knows how to manipulate people and agreed even though the part where its anyone else's town but her irks her to no end. The only new variable so far is Ruby and she is doing fantastic.

 **"So you expect everyone to simply follow your lead now? After killing our friends, destroying the enchanted forest and cursing us for almost thirty years?!"** Snow White starts pacing, fists balled up and her voice betrays everything, all her pain, anger and disbelieve.

 **"Yes I do."** Regina's cold gaze pins Snow to the spot, pausing her stride. Uh oh.. this is not in the script, she was supposed to play nice cop in a nie cop duo.. ugh. **"Because there is no choice. You may hate it or rant and scream like children but in the end this is going to happen.** " Her pose softens a bit, barely noticeable. **"So you might aswell do the most of it and help everyone, despite your true feeling, like any leader should."**

I walk over to stand beside Snow, like the supportive daughter I'm not.. but I feel for her, I can understand her frustration and somehow I seem to calm her down a bit. Once Ruby join us and hugs her friend she reluctantly agrees. Well not in so many words but she will talk with Charming and the rest of city council about it and i'm sure about the outcome.. its not like they have a real choice, just like Regina said. For once Snows fragile temper works in our favor, toppling the situation and her resolve in a matter of minutes instead of hours.

Regina nods and turns to leave, Ruby and me stay for another hour or so to help Snow with everything that has to be done. In a quiet moment without Snow nearby I thank Ruby for all her help and I cant help but envelop her in a hug, my nose buried into her shoulder. She laughs softly, mumbles something about being a mushball into my hair and strokes my back in a way I imagine a mother would.. its a pleasant new experience.

There is a gasp, followed by the sound of a door quickly being shut. Oh bugger.. what now? I disentangle myself from Ruby and rearrange my uniform. **"Some Sherriff I am huh? Can't even keep my composure in times like this."** She smirks and looks towards the door. **"Any idea what that was all about?"** I shake my head, not really in the mood to overthink this.

We get back to work, filing through stacks of papers to prepare everything for the town meeting. For some reason Snow is taking way longer then expected and after Ruby and I finish up we are surprised to find her seated outside on the waiting room couch. She jumps up us as we enter the room, a blush easily spotted on her cheeks. Oh boy.. I guess now I know what happened earlier.. my 'mom' thought she caught me making out with Ruby. Argh! This damn rumor mill town. Ruby, seemingly coming to the same conclusion, burst out laughing while I attempt to convince Snow that nothing like that was going on. The poor woman keeps shaking her head, trying her best saying that its quite alright when its damn obvious that it isnt.

We leave city hall, Ruby still giggling like a little girl and me with a constant frown. **"Oh com on Emma, that was hilarious!"** She grabs my arm and turns me around, her smile contagious. **"I will talk with her later when she calmed down, don't worry ok?"** I smile weakly, hoping this will turn out right. The last thing we need is a headline like:

 ** _Sheriff Emma Swan caught in a liplock with female deputy in mayors office!_**

Aside from the fact that it would out me for real this time instead of plain rumors, Henry would see this as proof he was right all along and Regine would.. I don't know what Regina would do! Vulcanos come to mind cause I picture her as a very very jealous girlfriend.. or whatever she is. Great .. just fucking great..


	23. Back in School

Regina's POV:

 **"Are you sure this is such a good idea?"** Emma looks over at me from the passenger seat of my Mercedes. We are parked in front of the school, about to pick up Henry who doesn't yet know anything about what happened earlier in city hall. I'm back in power and soon the whole town will know, best tell him before that. As much as it pains me to admit but Emma may be right however. He should be told.. but do I have to be the one to do so? Doubt creeps up on me , as it does every now and then. Each time I squash it as fast as possible but its there non the less Henry was the first to introduce but its there non the less. Henry was the first to introduce it, in this world at least. He made me weak when he entered my life, made me question myself and now she does too..

 **"I am."** Even though I'm not, I can't falter anymore, my path has to be set. I want everything back... and more. **"Let's go."** Emma nods and we get out, heading towards the principals office to file out some paperwork that restores my pick up privileges for Henry. Of course there is an uproar and some of the teachers get involved as well but.. Emma is there again, between me and them.. a bit like weeks ago. As much as she weakens my resolves, lets me doubt myself and erodes my self control... she is also a beacon of light in my darkness, a strong shoulder to lean on and a promise they may hold true for once. It's infuriatingly difficult to be around her, which is one of the reasons why I didn't stay over the other night and kept away yesterday. The other reasons are more.. private in nature and I'm unsure on how to proceed. The connection makes everything more difficult then it already is.

We are out of the principles office now, the disturbance there in our past and I follow in her wake, feeling weak and dependant. It's not like it was an especially draining experience .. far from it. But it made me realize how my life could be if she had never come to storybrooke. I would still have Henry and he wouldn't hate me. There would be no doubt in everyone's mind about who is in charge. True, there would be no magic.. and there is nothing sweeter then magic.. but I need her for that.. like some nymphomaniac vampire I have to feed it of her.

My heels click angrily behind her in a staccato like rhythm, drawing the attention of everyone nearby. They don't dare to look at me tho, my anger is a tangible aura now focused at the oblivious blond before me. I feel like lashing out at her, for making me weak. A wayward thought takes root, triggered by my choice of words, making the mind wander to my castle in all its splendor. Through corridors filled with loyal guards, down the stairs, ever deeper, ever darker, towards the pleading screams. **"..gina?"**

 **"What did you just call me?!"** I croak, still dazed from my unseemly daydreaming. She crunches up her eyebrows, smiling at me all the while. **"I simply called your name.. like twice. Guess you were deep in thought planing world domination or somesuch eh?"** She should bumps me in an overly friendly manner. This combined with the audacity of maybe calling me Gina spurs my anger even further, yielding even more images of her floating around my mind. Magic burns in my veins, itches beneath my fingertips. I could wisp her away in an instant, lock her away in that place, make her understand without ..

Calm down Regina. Power is everything, magic comes with a price, no one can stop you but yourself... and her. My mantra taunts me yet again, like days before, everything is changing and its soo hard to keep control. It used to be simple and now? Now I feel like a walking time bomb. I want to smash her against the wall, dig my nails into her skin, mark her.. bite her.. how can I feel like this? We are out in the open, on the way to pick up Henry no less? What kind of deranged person have I become? Gods..

* * *

Emma's POV:

Huh? Just for a second I could've sworn her eyes turned purple, I wonder whats up with that. Shes been acting weird ever since we got here. At first almost doctile and now totally spaced out, as if shes lost in another world. I joke about what she might be planing and bump her shoulder, but all she does is look at me strangely.. it makes me kind of uncomfortable. **"Um .. anyway, here we are, they should finish up any minute now. Want to peek through the window, see how he acts when we aren't watching?"** I try another smile but all I get is a pointed look, which is.. well .. not an answer at all if you ask me. I shrug my shoulders and sneak closer to the window, making sure not to be seen.

Now now, what do we have here? Passing notes with a cute girl? Way to go, like mother ,like son huh? I smirk broadly and twist around to face Regina, my body still crouched low. She is standing in front of me, in plain sight of the window, staring straight at Henry as if only now realizing we are here for him.

She whispers something and steps away from the window. The scene has a surreal feel to it, as if I'm thrown into the plot of an european art movie that is almost over. I get up and follow her retreat back into the quiet corridor. "Whats wrong?" My words are meant to be calming, reassuring and heartfelt but she reacts as if I had just shot her puppy, There is anger, sadness and confusion all out there, all directed at me, as if its my fault.

 **"Everything is wrong."** She hisses. **"Especially .."** Especially what Regina? Why can't she talk to me? Is it because she fears Henry's reaction, or because she saw a boy and girl exchanging notes which reminded her that she is now somehow involved with a woman?

 **"Especially what?"** She looks at me, the anger and confusion evaporating slowly, making way for pain. **"Me.."** She whispers and is in my arms in an instant only to be gone in the next. I don't recall if she moved to me or the other way round. Maybe we both needed it if only for an instant. **"I'm sorry.."** Huh? What? Her eyes glance past me and I get it, she doesn't want to cause another scene. For her sake or mine I wonder. **"We could.. you know.. talk later."** Oh wait.. no.. **"I mean really talk, not .. the other .. stuff. I.. I'd like that."** She averts her eyes and sighs, is she frustrated? Upset? Fuck.. why does she have to make everything this freaking complicated?

 **"Fine.."** The rest of her words are drowned out by the ringing of the bell and chatter of kids on their way out. Regina moves closer again, to make space for a particular rowdy group and my hand twists on its own accord, landing on her lower back. Brown eyes stare at me, without any of the troublesome feelings from before attached to them. There is warmth behind the mask she has to wear and as she steps away from me to keep appearances I hope that she finds the strength to confide in me.

Even though it must be hard. She had noone to rely on.. for thirty years, that's fucking sad! No wonder she is this walled up. Oh and on top of that there is the time 'over there'. As a queen it must have been even harder to trust people.. and before that? From what I found out so far her youth and childhood weren't really a good foundation for trust either. Her mother an absolute, magically boosted, controllfreak. The father not in any position to help his daughter and her first love killed before her eyes.. fuck..

 **"What is SHE doing here?"** Oh how I want to scream some sense into him right now. The little runt stares at Regina with open hostility and I move in front of him. **"Because she is your mother and we have to tell you something."** He wants to protest, its there, in the slight twist of his mouth, the way he stands taller.. but he has no right and if he tries to i'll cause such a scene that his little girlfriend will never as much as look at him.

Regina moves to my side as Henry and I star at each other. **"I'm going to be mayor again, your precious grandmother agreed. So stop with this childish act and behave like the boy I raised."** Her voice is somber but firm, mine wouldn't be if roles were reversed, but she is .. well .. her. **"I'm not saying you should move back into the mansion or accept me with open arms, but I will pick you up from school and help Emma with babysitting when Ruby or Archie are unavailable."**

 **"I'm not a baby!"** He responds, turning red in the process and checking around whether anyone he knows is nearby. **"You sure act like one kiddo."** I pipe in, feeling like venting and he is taken back. Hes bound to feel betrayed now, but he'll get over it. Gotta love good parenting at work. **"Fine.. whatever.."** He shoulders past us, stomping towards the parking lot.

 **"That could have gone worse."** She hums in agreement and her eyes rest on me in a way that tells me how thankful she is for my words. Let's hope her mood stays like this for a while and doesn't revert back to earlier.. that was freaking weird.


	24. The Fog

Regina's POV:

The car ride to Henry's weekly session is as awkward as can be expected, with him pouting in the back and Emma staring straight ahead like nothing exists except the short road to Archie's she is driving on. As soon as we arrive Henry is out of the car and inside Archies session room, slamming the door behind him. Emma takes her time and I am unsure on how to proceed, a sickening yet lately ever more frequent occurrence. **"You coming?"** She asks in a soft voice that feels like she is taking my hand to guide me. **"I better not."**

I feel strong fingers tenderly stroking my cheek, making me turn towards her. **"Regina.. you are his mother, all he needs is time.. and a constant reminder you are not going anywhere."** Her hand is gone, before I have the time to mourn or scold it. A part of me wants to, for her gall of touching me in such a personal way.. this is to much.. it means more then frantic kisses or the yearning for contact and control. But .. another part of me wants to take her hand to kiss it, each knuckle in turn as I stare into her eyes, making sure to tell her how grateful I am for everything she had done for me.

 **"Thank you.."** A good compromise I think and her face brights up in a way that makes me doubt she is really 28. Silly girl.. let's dampen that cheeky spirit shall we. **"Easy there Ms. Swan, don't let this get to your head."** She answers with a mock 'Yes madam mayor', her heartfelt smile never leaving her lips.

* * *

Emma's POV:

Archie is talking to us about how the process of accepting Regina again is going to take a very long time and care, but my mind is still back in the car. My smile returns and obviously irritates Archie. **"I-I fail to see how this is funny."** He stutters bravely, sending frightened glances behind me, towards his former queen.

 **"Sorry, I have a lot on my mind is all."** A muted cough sounds through the small room and I feel her amusement. **"W-well we .. could set up a schedule for you too.. I-if you want? Or maybe a group session?"** I hope for his sake he didn't make eye contact with Regina when the words left his mouth.

 **"Al-alright, just think about it. I better get to it now, he seemed pretty upset."** That's an understatement if I ever heard one. The door clicks shut and we can hear muted mumblings taking turns with upset accusations. Thats our cue to leave.

As we get back to the car he asks for her keys back and gets in on the driver side. I wonder where she wants to go to considering we only got about an hour before the session is over.

* * *

Regina's POV:

The engines roar to live and I'm reminded how much I love this car. It exudes power, confidence and class in the same way I want to be perceived by everyone beneath me. She isn't however.. is she? Well sometimes she is.. but that's a different matter.

True, she is immature in a lot of ways but makes up for it in spirit, compassion and openness. Somehow I feel that makes us equals, each on the different ends of the spectrum in a lot of ways, but still overlapping in the important ones.

Maybe that's why I'm faltering so much lately, I never had an equal that wasn't my enemy in one way or another. My mind wanders through my past, picturing everyone I've known. When I think about him the parade of images comes to a screeching halt. Oh how I loved him, with all the naivete of youth I truly did and his death left a void I never dared to fill.. but..

There shouldn't be a but.. its there however.

If someone were to examine this young love closely they would soon find flaws.. quite a few of them, like with every teenage romance it's build on nothing and in most cases is not made to stand against the trials of time. We didn't truly know each other either .. or ourselves for that matter. Another sure sign that it wouldn't have lasted. It was a fling with the stable boy, probably as cliche as it sounds.. but it was all the love that I had in the almost sixty years of my life. Curses.. I shouldn't think about my age to much, its frustrating. Thank the gods for the curse and its ability to keep our bodies young while it lasted.. and maybe i helped out a bit here and there with a spell or two..

 **"Your not going to kill me and dump the body here in the woods are you?"** Emma jokes lightly, pointing outside the window at row upon row of trees. I've been driving further then I intended but it doesn't really matter. All I want is to get away from this frustratingly pathetic town.

 **"No, if I wanted to kill you there are easier ways for me."** I pull over next to a path leading into the forest. **"Heh.. you really know how to comfort a girl you know that?"** We get out of the car and I fasten the belt of my coat, it has been getting colder lately and a faint fog is in the air. **"I do.. but I thought you wanted to talk."**

 **"I do.."** And yet she doesn't, typical. We walk in silence along the path, close to each other but not to much so. It is somewhat amusing that she is is not able to articulate herself, give that she is bound to have more experience when it comes to this.. or maybe not? Just because she has known about her.. tastes, a lot longer doesn't mean she had a lot of relationships.

 **"We are not .. dating, are we?"** Here it comes, her hands are stuck in the backpokes, the gaze off into the distance. **"No, we are not."** My reply is met with silence, at least for a while. We wander deeper through the fog and I brace myself for what is bound to come next, she is going to push. Most likely gently, maybe even pleadingly, but its going to come. She is impatient and always wants more..

 **"We aren't lovers either.. are we?"** Hmm.. that depends I guess, but for her kisses do not constitute as enough, that's obvious in the way she is moving when we are together. It is amazing how much you learn about someone when your bodies are this close to each other. I can see it by the bucking of her hips. The repeated attempts to touch me, as much as I touch her. The hot smoldering look that beckons me to go further.

 **"No, we are not."** I repeat my earlier words, this time more solemn as I understand where this is going. It's not that she is dead set on a real relationship, all she wants is some sort of framework .. I get that. One could finish her line of questioning even further. 'We are not.. friends, are we?' And if I were to reply honestly my answer would be the same. True friends would be able to talk openly, to spend time together without a care in the world.

 **"I'm sorry Emma..."** She kicks a stone along the path and it skits off into the woodwork. **"It's ok.. not great.. but ok, don't worry to much about it. I'm not going anywhere.. I just wanted to make sure you know how I feel is all.."** My head nods on its own accord and we keep walking aimlessly for a while before slowly making our way back to the car, to Henry and the town that makes everything more complicated then it already is.


	25. Bored Brooding (Ruby POV)

Ruby's POV:

Emma is saying her goodbyes and is off for work, which is to bad.. i would've liked to talk some more. Lately there is so much on her plate, with Regina taking office, the town in yet another uproar about it and an official from Augusta scheduled for an inspection soon.

Then there is David.. as a token of good faith we were forced to accept him as a second deputy. Now that the dwarves are out of the picture, thanks to our new mayor, the people demanded that another loyalist should take their place.. and who is more loyal and honest then Prince Charming himself. You know.. the guy who poses as his dead brother and cheated on his real world wife with Mary Margaret. Pff...

Oh and yes being a loyalist is now a thing.. like patriot and democrat, better not say anything against either of these three. Everyone who is loyal to the Charmings can claim that title, so pretty much the whole town with only a few exceptions and of course us.. Regina, Emma and me as the unspoken enemies of the kingdom.

I tried my best to avoid this, I really did. Talking with both sides, deescalating as much as i could but to no avail. In the end Snow made me choose. A sigh leaves my lips as i think about it. My mood turning from bored to brooding.

We had been talking for hours but i couldn't get through to her. She was so upset at Regina.. and Emma for that matter, because she was standing by her side. Every time i gently tried to explain their reasoning she would start another speech about all the pain Regina had cause and how Emma should rather defend her family then help this madwoman.

As bad as this sounds it got worse. When she started to realize I would not be swayed she accused Emma of turning me. Yep those were her words alright. She was adamant that her best friend of old, that would be me, would have never betray her like this and that Emma must've seduced me somehow to make me do it.

Of course this was about the time she supposedly 'caught' us in her office, when in truth all Emma did was hug me but the rumors floating around let Snow think otherwise. Ever since then I had repeatedly tried to clear that up, but Snow deflected each time obviously uncomfortable with the topic. Which is understandable considering the stance of her husband on this.

Well in the end i left her crying like the martyr she is. Instead of understanding and compassion she sticks to accusations and I'm tired of it. I sigh again and look to the door, wondering if Archie could cover for me so i can follow her and help our around the station.

 **"She's only been gone for like ten minutes Ruby..."** Henry pipes into my daydreaming. **"..but i get it. I feel the same about Jenny."** Oh boy... this again. It's bad enough that Snow thinks there is something going on between her daughter and me, but Henry? He is worse on a whole different level, being all supportive and understanding. **"Henry, i told you.."**

 **"Yeah, yeah sure.. ."** He grins at me and pulls out his mobile to start texting, leaving me to continue my brooding. Emma told me about the failed sleepover that roused Henry's suspicion, ever since then they had been more discreet.. not that she has yet to spill any juicy details. From the sound of things they are doing ok though. Of course there are ups and downs but that's to be expected considering all the extra baggage they got.

 **"Hey, did you know that Snow is back in school?"** Henry nudges me to get my attention. **"She is acting weird tho, gave us a bunch of extra homework.. on a friday! Mary Margaret would've never done that."** He shifts around a bit to face me properly. **"Was Snow like that, back in the enchanted forest?"**

 **"Like what? There wasn't a lot of homework to be done back then."** I underline with a smile and he rolls his eyes. **"Well yes, i mean strict and ... i don't know.. hard? Shes no longer laughing, like at all. Before the curse broke, even with all the David stuff, she smiled more."** David stuff huh? This boy knows to much for his own good, seriously.. when i was his age life was a lot simpler. I blame the internet and Google.

 **"She has a lot on her mind, we all do..."** Ain't that the truth, we should take a holiday once things calmed down and the inspection is done with.. umm.. who is 'we' exactly? I thought that earlier too when i meant Regina, Emma and me.. but a trip with both of them sounds kinda weird, me being the third wheel and all.. but i can't ask Emma to come with me without everyone misunderstanding. Bah.. all i want is to enjoy some alone time with her, away from all this chaos. Maybe even go clubbing, I always wanted to do that.. well the Ruby part of me, and i'm sure Emma would know great spot, her beíng from Boston and all.

Oh bummer... I totally forgot that we can't leave storybrooke. Damn it.. hey, wait a sec, Sneazy got his memories back after a couple of days.. so.. we could go but it wouldn't really be me. Is that a problem? How much different would i act without red and the wolf inside of me? **"Henry.. what did you think of me before the curse broke?"**

 **"Um.. you were always nice to me, even though you didn't have to. But i like you more now that we can talk and hang out, I don't think the old Ruby would've done that."** Yeah, he's right, I was pretty shallow as Ruby.. but the trip would be about having a good time not meaningful conversation.. **"Your phones ringing."**

Oh, he's right.. huh.. Regina? That's odd... **"Hello Madame Mayor."** Henry's eyes zoom in on me in an instant, curious about why she would call me. _ **'Hello Miss Lucas, i was wondering if you could come by city hall to discuss something of a personal nature.'**_ Thats weird, not only the call itself but the way shes talking.. it's almost pleasant.. oh and talk with ME about something personal? **"Sure thing, i'll come right over, Henry is busy texting his little girlfriend anyway."** A burst like protest from my side drowns out most of what shes saying but it sounded like some kind of confirmation to me.

Eager to figure out what this is all about I get up and gather my things while Henry storms to his room, embarrassed about me ratting him out. Tough luck, its the grown ups job to do stuff like that. Happy about keeping up my embarrassment quota and a possible road trip on the horizon i leave the apartment.


	26. Red October (Regina Ruby POV)

Regina's POV:

 **"Miss Lucas is here Madame Mayor."** My assistants voice drones over the intercom and a feeling of dread starts to crawl up my spine. I never felt comfortable accepting help, let alone asking for it.. but now I have to. **"Let her in."** Standing up I smooth out my outfit and stride towards the door just in time to greet her. She smiles, surprised at my pleasant demeanor I guess, and I invite her to sit down on my couch. It's from the same line as the one I got at home and a tiny squeal of delight escapes her as she sinks into the dark leather.

I can't help but smile at this, which she notices. **"Sorry.. it.. it's a very nice couch, I love the leather."** She smirks sheepishly and I'm glad she is in such a good mood. I sit down neatly next to her and not politely, no need to embarrass her any further.. even tho I normally would have liked to. It's so much fun to watch them squirm, as long as its all in good spirit.. well...

Focus Regina. **"Miss Lucas there is something .."** I halt and look at her for a second before going on. **"Actually let's clear something else up before that. I was wondering how we should address each other, the circumstances are.. unique, to say the least."**

* * *

Ruby's POV:

Hey yeah, it's unique alright. She is Ruby's mayor, Red is the godmother of her step grandchild.. which would be Emma.. as in the woman she is having an affair with and the Wolf must've killed more of her minions then rest of the group around Snow put together. And yet.. here we are having a pleasant conversation, which it is.. I smell no fear, anger or anything else suspicious that would make me believe that there is some sort of trap or evil plan. If anything I would say the air tastes a bit like she was nervous recently.. because of me? That's kinda unusual for the evil queen of confidence.

 **"Yes.. they are. Um... everyone keeps calling me Ruby, I guess because they are used to saying my name so often at the diner."** I hesitate for a second, unsure if I should put myself out there and open up a bit. **"But.. Id prefer Red .. to .. be honest."** There is said it.

 **"Red it is, in times like this we can drop some of the formalities don't you think?"** I nod, dumbstruck, this is getting curiouser by the minute. **"I heard a lot of good about you since the curse broke, both as Deputy and as a person. Im thankful for that, there are not a lot of decent people left in this town."** Coming from a former evil empress that sounds.. off and wait a sec, did she just compliment AND thank me?!

 **"Then there is Emma, you two get along quite well hm?"** Neither her expression nor her voice changed an Iota but it feels like the ice beneath my feet just got thinner. **"Yes, shes a good friend and I help out a lot.. with Henry and .. such."** Oh darn, maybe I shouldn't have brought him up.. again, like earlier on the phone.. that was stupid. It's been weeks now and he is still living with Emma.

She hums in response and gets up to order something do drink for both of us over the intercom. It's just a tiny bit creepy that she knows exactly how I like my coffee. Is that some kind of 'Art of War' stuff? Know thine enemy? Is this about the hug again? My thoughts run rampant and I flinch as she sits down next to me again, her movement like a predators. The wolf in me rises to the challenge and I feel a snarl building up.. no! No no no.. not now, calm down.

 **"Everything alright Red?"** She asks, her voice syrupy, knowing.. and her lip quirks into a smirk. **"Sorry.. I know it must be hard to control the beast. I'll behave from now on, I promised Emma anyway.. but you can't fault me for playing a bit hm?"** An eyebrow raised, a gleam in her eyes, she looks at me and it feels like I see her with Emma's eyes. She is one hell of a woman, despite or maybe because of her past she has become the most powerful and interesting person I have ever known. She is dangerous yes, in more then one way and yet.. I sense no danger from her. It's all playful, like I'm the newest toy in the box and she doesn't want to damage it. Or maybe this is just her way of letting off steam? Is she like this with Emma too when they are alone?

Way to many questions swirl in my head and I feel like I should defend myself, despite the wolfs protest. **"S-so you know it was a misunderstanding right? The thing at Snows.. I mean .. your office?"** There is a faint knock before her assistant enters with two cups, leaving the conversation between Regina and me hanging in midair, much to the dismay of my frayed nerves.

It's the same guy by the way, the one who 'saw' us and who called the station after Regina and Emma showed up here to confront Snow. I wonder why Regina kept him? Hes such a weasel..

He carefully places the coffee on a short table in front of the couch and leaves without a word. She takes a nip from the steaming molten goodness and nods in direction of the door. **"Yes I know, don't worry dear. Michael here and Emma both convinced me. As I said, sorry for toying with you about that, but it's our sheriffs fault. She urged me to.. oh how did she put it? Do something just for shits and giggles?"** The coffee is halfway down my throat when I hear this and I choke up, sputtering coffee all over her expensive couch. I have never ever heard her talk like this.. its just .. wrong! And funny! ... damn..

As if nothing just happened she simply hands me a handkerchief and smiles at me, it's honest and sexy in a way.. not the lustful kind tho. More like she is enjoying herself and it shows. I have known her for such a long time now but there was always such a huge gap between us. In my first life all I had was second hand knowledge about the evil queen we all fought against. There was no room for doubt, no time to question anything.. and as Ruby I was plain scared of her. She can be such an intimidating and room dominating person when she chooses to be.

So yeah, huge gap.. at almost every regard.. except the darker side maybe. While it is true that I was never unnecessarily cruel to those I killed, unlike her, but I'm still a killer. I am.. not the wolf.. me. I chose to kill.. just like her. She killed for her own gain, I killed .. for.. well.. Snow, in a way, but that wasn't it really..

Why the hell am I thinking about that now, get a grip Rubes. Smile that fake smile of yours, apologize and get the hell out of here. No wait.. she still didn't tell me what she wanted. Darn it.. Oh and we are .. in the middle of a conversation. **"Good.. that's .. good. I don't want you to think.. you know.. with her. Shes great! She would never .. you know.. and I'm not .. so yes, all good."** The wolf gnaws at my insides at the show of such weakness, he is merciless like that but I can't help it. I'm nervous as can be because of so many things. I don't want to screw this up for Emma, I'm totally confused about this new and improved Regina model and my thoughts keep wandering to dark places when I should rather focus on the tasks at hand. She hums and pats my leg in a friendly manner. **"It's quite alright dear."**

We sit together in silence after that, taking sips of our coffee now and then while gathering our thoughts. At least thats what im doing, she most likely planning something. Every time I see her staring off in the distance like that im remind about this quote from 'The Hunt for Red October', you know the one about the russians and their plans?

 **"I would like to ask you a favor."** Huh? Oh... so all of this was just to keep me off balance and butter me up? ... Figures. **"It is somewhat personal so I will take no offense whatsoever should you decline."** Her eyes seek mine to bring her point across without leaving space for any lingering doubt and I feel myself nodding.. you know .. like cattle does. **"Once a week id like you to tell me a tale of my misdeeds, over dinner.. or lunch, because I don't have much time to spare. And once you are done I want to tell you my side of the story."** She pauses for a bit, I guess to gauge my reaction. This has to take a lot out of her, I can tell by all the small signs her body shows. **"Not to defend myself mind you .. or repent. No no, I simply want you to know the whole truth, not like Henry's book..."**

Yes that book, Henry should have never gotten that. While most of what's in there is probably true a child his age shouldn't know stuff like that about his mother. Snow couldn't know of course, still being cursed at the time but .. damn... Maybe it's karma? Her not being give a second chance after all the horrible things she has done? What does that say about me? I have so much blood on my hands, most of us from the enchanted forest have.. justice and a good cause can never wash it away no matter what the Charmings say. I stare down at my fingers and flex them ever so gently, anything more and memories would come flashing back from what I have done with them in the past.

 **"Alright.."** I mumble half to myself, I want to hear this, I want to know. If someone is to be condemned for their deeds it should be based on truth and not overly repeated storytelling. I will help with that for her sake, for Emma's sake .. and mine.


End file.
